


Beast of Prey

by Lazaraes



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-08-29 08:35:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 31,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8482708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazaraes/pseuds/Lazaraes
Summary: Years ago, a male rabbit went savage along with the swathe of predators setting a new precedent. Now, born predators aren't the only ones that are required to wear tame-collars by mandate. A story told in vignettes.





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Disney.
> 
> Special thanks to UmbraTsuki, my lovely beta-reader for this chapter. Without their help I would be lost in a sea of commas.
> 
> AN: I try not to start chapters with an author's note, but I figured it was a necessary evil this time. For those of you reading my Star Wars story (WAOM), I made the mistake of watching Zootopia for the first (three) time(s) (in rapid succession) while I was in the middle of writing the next chapter for that fic. I immediately fell in love with the film, but didn't feel any need to write anything since it was already really good as it was. Then I found out about the original idea for Zootopia. I was immediately consumed by a plot bunny with purple eyes and an obsession with Doing The Right Thing.
> 
> Add a dose of life-trying-to-screw-me-over to that, and here we are. Fear not, I haven't given up on writing WAOM, I just got a wee bit side-tracked. The good news is I'm already done writing this aside from editing, so I won't be staying side-tracked.
> 
> As a story based on a children's movie I had an interesting time keeping this a least mildly juvenile-friendly (even so this dances very closely on the line between Teen and Mature). It is because this is based on a children's movie that I feel a need to add warnings that I wouldn't normally bother with for an adult movie.
> 
> Proceed With Caution! This is not a fluffy story (despite the misleading number of fluffy animals). This is a story that takes place in a dystopian society in which systematic electrocution is an acceptable method for subduing a significant number of the populace. Make no mistake, this is under the angst genre for a reason.
> 
> WARNING!
> 
> This story will contain character death, extreme violence and torture (though descriptions will be deliberately vague when either does not occur off-screen), mentions of and off-screen suicide, bullying, and very mild cursing (the more offensive terms have been replaced, sometimes quite creatively or comically).
> 
> If any of this might bother you, then as much as I'd love your readership, turn around now!
> 
> Without further ado (for those of you who bothered to read all of that), let us begin.

" _If I speak of myself in different ways, that is because I look at myself in different ways."_

― Michel de Montaigne _, The Complete Essays_

Part I

" _You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one." ―_ John Lennon, _Imagine_

The air rippled with heat as Judy stood, her rapidly thumping foot telegraphing her impatience as she distractedly created a growing cloud of dust. "Where in the devil is that fox?" she muttered to herself irritably, "If he's late again…" Her eyes darted around the area yet again, but there was no sign of anyone. Through force of will, she stilled her foot with a sigh, and as the dust began to dissipate in the silence, her sensitive hearing picked up the slightest of noises. Her ears darted to attention above her head and swiveled as the noise increased. "Finally," she grinned slightly, her enlarged front teeth poking out as she uncrossed her arms and put her paws on her hips, fully prepared to chastise the mammal. As the noise continued to approach, her ears twitched and then began to droop as she heard frantic gasps, a scrambling lope, and a frantically beating heart. "Oh no," she shook her head in denial even as a red-furred blur darted around the corner, nearly slamming into a nearby wall, "Not again."

Her nose wriggled in distress as her eyes zeroed in on the ominously flashing yellow light on the charge-box of his tame collar, "Gideon you've got to slow down!"

"Can't!" he managed to gasp out.

She forcefully looked away from the light to focus on the fox's eyes and immediately recognized the look in them, "Gideon? Is it them?" she asked, her voice rushed.

He nodded once as he stood gasping for breath.

That was all Judy needed. Her nose twitched as her jaw tensed in determination before she snatched up his paw in her own and began to yank him behind her, knowing that the longer they took the more likely it was that his collar would go off. "Come on! I know a place that isn't far from here!"

The two stumbled forward as Judy lead them through Bunnyburrow's small town streets, weaving through various backyards until they reached a basement window under an old low-hanging awning. "Duck!" she shouted as she dragged them down to skid under the rickety frame and through the empty window.

They flew through the gap and fell several feet to land on the cement floor with a painful thump.

"Owwww," Judy groaned as she pulled himself free from the tangle of limbs and held her head, "You okay Gideon?"

She looked over at him and her rapidly beating heart nearly stopped when she saw the soft orange glow that was lighting the dark room intermittently, seemingly innocent in contrast to his frantic breathing. Despite being slightly out of breath herself she darted back toward him to grasp both sides of his face and force him to face her, "Gideon, Gideon, don't do this to yourself. Look at me. You're alright." She gently smoothed some of his wild fur out of his eyes that were staring blankly through her, "Gideon Grey, you are stronger than this!" His ears finally twitched, and she saw he was trying to focus on her. "Good, Gideon, good," she crooned, "Deep breaths. Nice and slow. Come on, breathe with me," she began breathing in and out deeply, much too slowly for a rabbit, but he didn't need a rabbit's speed right now.

Right as she was starting to get dizzy from the breathing exercise not meant for her species, she heard a soft beep, and the light began flashing a sunny yellow, "Good, Gideon, you're almost there. Just a bit more."

And so they sat there breathing.

And his tame-collar finally flashed a solid green.

In the midst of the near silence, Gideon's soft twang drifted across the empty basement, so different from his cruel tones in their childhood, "Thanks, Judes, I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes." Judy looked over at him as he shook his head, and he deliberately changed the subject, "I'm sorry I was late meetin' ya."

She studied his face for a moment and saw the subtly pleading look in his eyes. She sighed and nodded, she wouldn't ask for details. Normally she would, but today? No. Not today. "Late to your own birthday activities, Gideon?" She saw him perk up noticeably as she hauled herself off the floor then held out her paw towards him, bracing herself for his weight, "What am I supposed to do with you, huh?"

Gideon looked at her proffered paw and snorted, "Well not that definitely," he shook his head in amusement, "I'm t-twice yer height, ain't no way that'll work out well." He shoved himself off the floor as her eyebrows twitched in irritation.

"Is that right huh?" she tilted her head and brushed off her plaid shirt, "Guess you don't need my help getting out the window either then." She wiggled her fingers at him with a teasing grin and hopped back out the window with ease.

"Oh gosh darn it, Judes, that's not fair," he grumbled before he stubbornly jumped and grabbed the windowsill in order to scramble up the wall behind her.

As he hauled himself out of gap she giggled, watching playfully while he unfolded himself to his full height that towered over her, "Oh come on, big guy, you're fine." He muttered good-naturedly as she clapped him on the shoulder. "By the way, happy eighteenth, Gideon," she sang out cheerfully.

"Aww thanks, Judes," he said, a quiet happiness exuding from him.

"Now come on, we need to get going for your surprise!" She grabbed his paw abruptly and began tugging him along behind her, her usual vibrant energy bubbling up. As he stumbled after her she noticed the time on her watch and started tugging harder on his arm, "Oh cheese and crackers! We need to hurry or we're gonna miss out on the good seats!"

"Good seats?" he asked curiously as he picked up his pace to keep up with her nimble steps, "Are we going to the m-movies then?"

"Aw shoot. Outed by my own dumb mouth," Judy griped as she berated herself.

"Nah Judes, your m-mouth ain't dumb, it's jus' fast," Gideon snorted in mild amusement.

Judy rolled her eyes and lightly punched his arm, "Yeah yeah." She reached into her pocket and pulled out two wrinkled tickets and offered them to Gideon, "I knew you had wanted to see that new movie, so I went ahead and got you a ticket for your birthday." She shrugged offhandedly, sidestepping his family's welfare status with practiced ease.

Gideon's eyes grew wide and he smiled so widely he practically beamed, "Oh gosh, thanks Judes, you really are the b-best!" He scooped her petite body up and spun her in a hug before putting her gently on the ground.

She griped good naturedly as she tried to brush the wrinkles out of her shirt, more pleased that she had managed to draw out one of his rare smiles than anything else, "Well come on then, let's get going before we end up sitting in the back corner."

This time it was Gideon who took her paw and started to drag her forward almost prancing in his excitement, though to her amusement she had a much easier time keeping up with his long strides than he ever did with her nimble steps.

* * *

" _The lives of all people flow through time, and, regardless of how brutal one moment may be, how filled with grief or pain or fear, time flows through all lives equally."_

― Orson Scott Card _, Children of the Mind_

Judy wasn't there when some well-intentioned parent heard about what had happened between her and Gideon at the fair. She wasn't there when they brought up the matter at a town meeting, and she wasn't there when the decision was reached that Zootopia's far more capable investigations division should look into the situation.

Judy wasn't there when the Bunnyburrow Council voted to adopt Zootopia's tame-collar laws, and she wasn't there when Zootopia's Special Collaring Division came to Bunnyburrow.

She wasn't there when Gideon had to be sedated in order to be collared.

_(Such was his fear, she later learned)_

She wasn't there when Gideon was sent off to a reformatory school, where he would remain for the remainder of his sixth grade year, and the rest of middle school.

=-.-=

Judy was hiding in her room, refusing to accept that she was scared even as she shut herself away from the world. She was being sheltered by her parents.

She was being interviewed by the intimidating figures of the investigators, too uncertain to do anything but seem like a helpless victim.

She didn't give up. Would not give up.

She just needed time to regain her full confidence.

And so time passed.

* * *

" _All cruelty springs from weakness."_

― Seneca _, Seneca's Morals: Of a Happy Life, Benefits, Anger and Clemency_

It was Judy's second week in high school when she heard the telltale sounds of a scuffle; several mammal's voices intertwined with familiar tones that had haunted her childhood echoed through the empty halls after most students had gone home.

She swivelled her ears in determination until she figured out which direction the warped noise had been coming from and darted off toward it. As she neared the area, she heard a door slam, and as she rounded the corner, her ears picked up on the soft sound of sobbing before it was overwhelmed by a ring of jingling keys and cruel laughter.

Several mammals turned to look at her, all prey.

_The owner of the voice was absent. She must have been hearing things._

"What in tarnation is going on here?!" she demanded, her tone self-righteous.

"None of you business cotton-tail," the pig holding the keys sneered.

Judy's eyebrow twitched and she smiled widely, "Is that right? Well I just wanted to let you know that it sounded like someone is stuck in the closet." She gestured to the keys, "Since you _conveniently_ have the janitor's keys it shouldn't take more than a second to let them out right?"

The pig snorted inelegantly, "I don't see why you of all people are bothering to defend him. Whatever, you let him out." He tossed the keys through the air and Judy snagged them before they flew out of reach.

"Thanks so much," she cocked her head to the side, smile unchanging, "You're a real nice guy aren't you?"

The pig looked at her like she was crazy, "Come on guys, let's get out of here. This bunny thinks she's some sorta hero or something. I'm not getting caught up in that."

Judy didn't bother watching them as they trailed away, she was too busy trying to figure out which key went to the closet door. After several tries she was rewarded when the key turned and the door unlocked with a soft click that resonated in the now quiet halls.

Prepared for just about anything she turned the knob and the first thing she saw was the soft blinking yellow glow from a tame-collar.

"Oh no," she gasped and the figure looked up, hands covering his mouth to stifle his frantic breathing. She opened the door further and light flooded the small room.

And she saw.

Blue eyes, pupils expanded in fear. Red fur. That stupid centre part in the fur on his head.

"Gideon Grey?!" she unconsciously took a step back, her nose twitching in instinctive fear.

"J-Judy H-Hopps?" he asked uncertainly, his distress giving him a stutter.

She stared at him and tried to see her childhood tormentor in his frightened face.

She couldn't.

With determination firming her jaw, she held out her paw to him, "Come on, let's get you out of here. Did they hurt you?"

"Wha-what?" he looked at her in true bewilderment, as the light flickered back to green.

She crossed her arms and huffed, "Did. They. Hurt. You?"

"Oh. N-no. They were jus' tryin' ta set off my collar," he rubbed his face then sighed as he tried to pick himself up off the ground, "It's no big deal."

Her ears twitched, but she didn't offer to help him up again since she didn't think he would accept the offer, "Somehow I doubt that. Now come on, let's get you home."

He looked up from where he was brushing off his overalls, the confusion back in his features, "Why are you helpin' me? I was awful to you when we were little."

Judy twirled the keyring around her finger as she shrugged, "No one deserves to be bullied Gideon Grey. Not even you." She turned and started walking, but paused when she didn't hear him following her. She turned and saw him staring after her as if he was trying to figure out some kind of difficult puzzle, "Well are ya comin' or not, big guy?"

He shook his head like he was trying to rattle his thoughts free, "Yeah, wait up."

Judy stood patiently as he caught up, and they set off side-by-side.


	2. Part II

Part II

_**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Disney.** _

" _It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart." ―_ Anne Frank _, The Diary of a Young Girl_

In some ways it was surprising that it took so long to reach this point. It had been avoided for so long that maybe she had begun to hope it would never happen.

Judy could tell by the empty look in Gideon's eyes, as the threateningly blinking orange light flickered a final time, that he never had that hope.

With a beep that went unheard amidst the crowd of angry prey, the collar's light solidified into a horrifying red.

It seemed to go on forever. His body convulsed in the middle of the group while Judy was held back by that very same pig from her freshman year. Laughter warped and twirled around her, mixing into cacophonous pandemonium with the jeers and cheers and cruel words.

And then he was laying on the ground panting helplessly as the collar began its interim cycle, tears flooding helplessly from his eyes as he tried to calm the beating of his heart.

The collar flashed. Once.

He curled in on himself desperately. Twice.

The mob moved in closer. One mammal grabbed his arms and forced him out of his protective position. Judy's heart threatened to beat its way up her throat or out of her chest, "NO! STOP IT! LEAVE HIM _ALONE!"_

"Shut up ya dumb rabbit," the pig said with a heartless laugh as he held her thrashing body easily. "Can't you see we're having fun? 'sides, he deserves it anyway. Stupid pred."

Someone kicked Gideon in the stomach. The collar flashed a third time.

And then he was arching in pain, screaming silently as the collar amped up its voltage to deal with his continued agitated state.

Everything seemed to slow down and all she could focus on was getting her friend away from the cruel group no matter what.

No. Matter. What.

For the first time in her life Judy saw red.

* * *

" _I warned you! But did you listen to me? Oh, no, you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, isn't it?"_ ―Tim, _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_

Judy stared blankly at the barely reflective metal mirror that hung carefully bolted into the wall over an equally metal toilet that had what barely passed for a sink built into the back. With an empty sigh she pressed the button to turn on the pitiful trail of water in the sink and cupped her paws under it. After a few moments she splashed her face and started rubbing at her fur, causing pink water to dribble down her front. She repeated the process several times, working to loosen several red clumps and free them from her fur. When she had mostly succeeded and the water stopped turning pink, she cupped her hands a final time and swished it around in her mouth, ignoring the metallic taste before she braced her arms on the edges of the sink and spit the water out.

She watched the water circle the drain, her mind blissfully blank for several more moments before her arms started trembling and she collapsed into a heap on the painted cement floor with a small moan.

_Arms that wouldn't let her go. A vicious bite, her large blunt teeth made for tearing into crisp vegetables, not flesh, but doing a good enough job of it as blood filled her mouth. Stubborn refusal to let go, and clamping down harder until she can feel bone. A hold relinquished. Screams of fear as her heart beat a relentless tattoo in her chest, her skull, her everything._

_She darted forward to Gideon._

" _It's okay Gideon."_

" _Deep breaths."_

" _I'm here."_

" _I'll protect you."_

_A yellow flicker._

_A green glow._

_Heavy steel arms restrained her. Cold metal surrounded her wrists. Horror in blue fox eyes._

_She smiled as comfortingly as she could with a mouth of blood, "I'll be okay, Gideon. You just stay calm now alright?"_

_He shook his head in denial, and she saw a yellow flash as she was forced into the back of the same kind of police cruiser she had desperately wanted to drive when she grew up._

_A hysterical giggle, "Not exactly how I planned my first ride in one of these."_

Judy lightly brushed her fingers over the three old scars that were hidden under the fur on her cheek as she closed her eyes in despair.

* * *

" _There is no greater threat to a free and democratic nation than a government that fails to protect its citizen's freedom and liberty as aggressively as it pursues justice."_

― Bernard B. Kerik _, From Jailer to Jailed: My Journey from Correction and Police Commissioner to Inmate #84888-054_

The next time Judy saw Gideon Grey was in the courtroom from her seat at the Defendant's Table. Their eyes met and she did the best she could to smile, but she knew he saw her drooping ears. Gideon looked haunted as he stood across the room in his second-hand suit.

Judy looked for her parents. They never came.

" _I warned you to stay away from predators, Judy. They only get you into trouble," Stu's voice echoed tinnily across the jail's phone line._

" _He did you know," Bonnie agreed, though her voice shook._

" _Judy, I love you, but this? You can't just go attacking other animals like a- like a darn_ predator _! We're rabbits for goodness sake!" Stu exclaimed._

" _I know, Daddy, but they were-" Judy started desperately._

" _No buts, Judy! This is entirely unacceptable!" he sighed and Judy could hear the disappointment in his voice, "We- your mother and I- we can't support this. What sort of example would that set for your siblings? I'm sorry, Jude, we love you but-"_

" _Stop. Just stop," Judy said, her voice empty, even as her eyes brimmed with tears. "Gideon is my friend and they were hurting him. I had to do something."_

" _THAT FOX HURT YOU!" Stu got as close to a roar as a rabbit could and Judy bit her lip. He sighed, "That fox hurt my baby girl, and I never liked you staying around him. Look what he's done to you Jude. Biting mammals. How could you?"_

" _Daddy, I just," she scrambled for words._

" _No, Judy. We can't do this. I'm sorry, but you're on your own. I have a family I have to think about, and if you're going to attack people then we can't support you anymore."_

_The line went dead. Judy sobbed like a kit._

=.-.=

When the prosecutor went after Gideon on the witness stand, Judy wanted to cry despite her determination not to. The sheer indignity that he was put through tore at her.

Then the pig took the stand.

The lies he wove about her and Gideon had her lunging over the table, handcuffs or no, and from that point on her image was ruined. She was forced out of her favourite dress, and back into her tan inmate jumpsuit with ankle shackles and waist chains.

After that she had guards standing within feet of her for the rest of the trial that went on for weeks.

The jury had no sympathy.

"We, the jury find Judy Hopps guilty of Aggravated Assault and Battery."

_(It was hardly surprising, many whispered. After all, it was her uncle that had been the first known case of a non-predator going savage.)_

And so she was sentenced to six years of prison time, to be started in juvenile detention given her age, and completed in an adult detention centre.

In addition, as a convicted violent felon she was also required by law to wear a tame-collar for the rest of her life.

* * *

" _How do you survive for years in prison? You don't think about years, or months, or weeks. You think about today—how to get through it, how to survive it. When you wake up tomorrow, another day is behind you. The days add up; the weeks run together; the months become years. You realize how tough you are, how you can function and survive because you have no choice." ―_ John Grisham _, The Racketeer_

When they put her tame-collar on Judy mostly just felt empty. It had taken months for them to calibrate a collar for her species after her trial, and up until that point she had been held in administrative segregation for over a year.

Over a year where she only saw staff members when she wasn't in court.

Judy reached up to feel the rough material that rubbed against her neck. The nurses were speaking, but she ignored them as her fingers danced across the band. She brushed her drooped ears out of the way until her fingertips settled on the small box that rested over her left shoulder. She closed her eyes and caressed it with a single finger and an oddly satisfied sigh.

_Just like Gideon now._

Her eyes shot open and darted over to the only remaining nurse, a sheep she noted as her focus sharpened, "So can I go to gen pop now?"

"Well, I mean we can wait a few days if you're not comfortable," the woman dithered.

Judy smiled crookedly and looked at the sheep almost lazily. "Don't tell me you're worried about little ol' me lady. I'm sick of that stupid cell and-" her tone became clipped and short, "I. Want. Out."

The sheep cowered back slightly before reasserting herself as if realizing she was dealing with a creature two thirds her height, "Well if that's what you'd prefer dear, I certainly won't stop you. Just stay out of trouble."

Judy plastered a warm smile across her face, "Me? Trouble? Nah." She hopped up off the table and stretched, "So when do I go?"

The woman turned to the jailer that had escorted Judy and he shrugged, "Probably a couple hours. Let's get you back to your cell so you can get packed."

"Okie dokie," Judy chirped and started back toward her cell with a spring in her step, the guard following behind her amicably. "So how's the family Jack?" she questioned the the male beaver.

"Come on, Hopps, you know I'm not supposed to talk to you," the man said with a sigh.

Judy made a show of pouting, her eyes wide with the natural rabbit innocence, "Aw come on Jack, I thought we were friends."

He shook his head in amused exasperation, "Get going before they decide to put off moving you until tomorrow. You know how it is."

"Yeah, yeah," she sighed, and sped up until they reached her cell.

He pulled the large ring of keys loose from his belt and unlocked her door, "I don't know if I'm going to be transferring you, so if I don't see you again just make sure you keep your head down and your nose clean, okay Hopps?"

"Yes sir!" she stepped back into her cell and gave him a perfect salute, aside from her tongue poking out at him.

He rolled his eyes, "I don't know what I was even worrying about. See ya around, kid." He allowed the door to drop shut in front of her with a loud clang.

Judy's stance slumped down and she rolled her eyes heavily, "Out of trouble? Nose clean? As if." After being in solitary as long as she had, she was ready for anything different, no matter what it was. With a sigh she wandered across the claustrophobic space that had served as her quarters for longer than she wanted to remember. Out of curiosity she stood in front of her mirror and inspected the collar as best as she could with the poor reflection, trying to learn the small box with her fingertips. After several moments she settled back slightly and looked up, meeting the violet gaze of a stranger. She frowned and the doppleganger frowned with her, as its cold gaze bore into her from behind half-lidded eyes.

" _Predator,"_ some instinctive part of her seemed to scream in reaction to her own reflection, and her heart picked up speed slightly. She shook her head and looked away from her reflection as she berated herself.

She didn't like to think about it, but somewhere along the line something about her had changed.

_Had almost definitely been changing long before something in her had snapped and she bit into the pig's arm, and certainly continued to change as she watched the justice system fail Gideon when it ignored what had been done to him_

Maybe it had started when she was fourteen and he was sixteen, and she found him cowering in a locked closet.

Whatever the cause, it had accelerated and warped as she spent hour after day after week after month in the isolation cell listening to distant inmates yelling back and forth.

_Singing. Banging. Roaring. Screaming. Endlessly._

After all, if a bunch of useless prey could take advantage of a helpless predator, then was there really a difference between what everyone feared predators were capable of, and what prey _were_ capable of? Why shouldn't she just _become_ everything she had been accused of?

A predator.

She smiled bitterly. She had the collar to prove it now, didn't she?

=.-.=

She packed the few issued items she had and was ready to move in minutes.

_(She avoided thinking about how her parents hadn't ever put money on her books. She didn't need anything from commissary anyway.)_

She was taken to general population within the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I was going to hold off on posting this, but I needed something to distract me from this election, so I ended up editing this instead. This chapter is un-beta'd, so hopefully it's not too much of a mess.
> 
> Shout-out to all my Monty Python and The Holy Grail peeps!


	3. Part III

Part III

_**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Disney.** _

" _Changing is what people do when they have no options left." ―_ Holly Black _, Red Glove_

Judy realized quickly that adult prison was nothing like juvenile detention. She may have spent almost two years in juvie, but nothing prepared her for the vast mix of species that had been crammed together in Zootopia's Adult Corrections Facility. In Juvenile Detention the larger mammals were generally kept separate from the smaller ones, whereas, in Zootopia's prison did no such thing. Large were mixed with small. Violent criminals were mixed with non-violent. Prey were mixed with predators, and the new, and very small class of animals that she was considered part of, "preydators" were thrown into the mix, leaving them to flounder between the two groups, not quite fitting in with either.

She was determined to flourish anyway.

Even if that meant shutting down a polar bear before she had even settled in well.

Up until that point Judy had been the model inmate. The officers liked her, the various civilian staff doted on her, and if it wasn't for the collar causing immediate suspicion she probably would have already worked her way into their trust. As it was, she was doing well for herself. She had been ingratiating herself with the kitchen staff the most with the end goal of working there as an inmate worker. She hoped that she would at least be able to sneak some extra food, if not have something worth trading with other inmates for commissary.

Unfortunately in doing so she had knowingly infringed on what the female polar bear considered her territory.

=-.-=

Judy had known all morning that something was going to happen. The looks the other inmates gave her were hardly subtle, and the hushed whispering that she was able to pick up snippets from was even less so. Knowing this, instead of panicking when the polar bear started across the dayroom toward her, she pretended she was still reading her book and steeled herself for the encounter.

The woman's shadow loomed over her, and Judy's ears twitched slightly in their drooped position as she picked up on the soft rustle of fur when the bear crossed her arms. With a deliberate calm, she looked around the room a final time to check for any prison guards before she closed the large legal tome and looked up toward the sizable white bear in order to meet the sow's eyes with her own hooded ones, "Did you need something?"

The bear tensed, her claws digging into her own upper arms as if she was restraining herself. Judy heard a low rumble vibrate in the sow's chest followed by a quiet beep that indicated that her collar had just upped itself to its yellow caution status. She smirked and turned to face the woman further, "Careful now Zoya, don't want to shock yourself, do you?" She canted her head lazily to the side showing her innocently shining green light to the woman.

"Shut up, you stupid herbivore," the woman growled.

Judy burst out laughing at the irony, the sound cold and dead, "Funny Zoya, but I fancy myself more of an omnivore these days." She smiled widely, revealing her teeth.

"Who gives a rat's behind? You need to keep your stupid twitchy nose out of my business," the larger woman grit out.

Judy widened her eyes into the innocent façade she usually gave the guards and chirped, "I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about."

The woman growled in response and Judy snorted, "Typical Zoya, just typical." She rolled her eyes sharply, "You and I both know that you can't do anything to me unless you feel like getting electrocuted today. Until you plan on that you might as well just. Shut. Up."

A higher pitched beep echoed in the now silent room.

Judy shook her head, "Already orange?" she asked, her tone condescending. "And from what? Lil' ol' me? You need to do some yoga or something Zoya. Find your centre and all that junk."

"THAT is IT squirt!" the woman roared and took a threatening step towards Judy which made her heart stutter despite herself. Judy mentally shook herself and breathed in calmly. She wasn't going to let this woman affect her even if she was barely a twelfth of Zoya's entire size.

" _Remember J, us small critters? We're faster than them so we're hard to catch. All you gotta do is use gravity against them. Hit them at their weak points and bring them down to your level," a young female weasel grinned at her showing her sharp little teeth._

With a deliberate move she picked up the book she had been reading and dropped it, corner down, onto the woman's foot causing her to roar wordlessly.

" _You got a good advantage with those overpowered stompers of yours too," the girl pointed out as they both rolled up the legs of their jumpsuits so that they could hopefully work out in the yard without sweating too much in the summer heat._

With the few moment's distraction she had bought herself she darted around the back of the polar bear and mule-kicked the back of the woman's knee, putting her entire weight behind it, which caused the woman to crumple to the floor. As the sow tried to catch herself with her paws, Judy kicked the bear's arm without pausing to think, causing it to collapse beneath the other mammal. There was a loud crack as her muzzle collided with the floor, and then ringing silence.

" _I still don't see how you can manage to fight without setting off your collar Slick," Judy commented in exasperation after working herself up enough to get a warning shock when an officer took a bracelet she had made because it was contraband. She had painstakingly worked on the bracelet over the period of a week, and had barely gotten to wear it for three days._

_Just thinking about it made her temper worse._

_The weasel shrugged, "They're affected by our physical reaction to things. The more ya react the harder the shock is. The only secret is to stop giving it anything to work on." She looked at Judy seriously, "You've just gotta stop caring. You care way too much about things J, and that's dangerous when you've got a shocker on yer neck."_

While the woman was still stunned, Judy leaned in and hissed in her ear, "Look lady, I get it. They don't feed mammals enough here and you've got yourself a nice little set-up. Problem is, I don't even get commissary, so I'm getting in that on that gig with or without your permission." She stepped back, but as she looked at the fallen bear she felt a short moment of sympathy that made her heart-rate shoot up in regret for what she had done. She swallowed harshly in frustrated guilt, then sighed, "I'll even let you keep your spot in the kitchen. I'm sure it was hard for a born-pred like you to get in there in the first place."

Judy watched the bear struggle to get up despite the sharp blow her chin had taken, and guilt continued to eat at her in waves, until her own collar blipped quietly. She immediately realized she couldn't afford to show that kind of weakness, her survival in the prison depended on it. She squashed down her rising emotions violently until she settled back into her previous indifferent state, her expression hardening as she did so. Her collar reset accordingly, and she spoke again, "You're already about to get shocked if you're not careful. If you think you're going to fight through it then know this: I will _make sure_ your collar gets sent into a non-compliance cycle, and we both know how dangerous those are." She smiled bitterly, "It's your choice."

The woman growled at her in disgust, but didn't make any move toward Judy.

Judy sighed and stepped back, "That's what I thought."

She leaned over and picked up her book before she strolled away casually toward her cell and settled down on her bed. With a deep breath she opened the book to a random page and stared at it blankly, her knuckles vibrating against the book as she fought to stifle dry sobs of self-hatred.

_Gideon arching in pain, screaming silently as the collar amped up its voltage to deal with his continued agitated state_

Predators had been known to die because of non-compliance cycles. Panic and pain weren't a good recipe for calming back down. She had dealt with it because of her own friend.

While death wasn't a certain outcome, she had essentially threatened to kill the bear if that was what it took for her to get what she wanted, and she knew _(oh how she knew)_ exactly what she had been doing. She had threatened to initiate a kill cycle.

_(Oh how she hated herself.)_

She was no better than the ones that had picked on Gideon.

But she was a small mammal, and that meant she needed to do whatever it took to survive.

Judy grit her teeth and forced her feelings deep down inside herself and smothered them in detachment.

Her paws slowly stopped shaking.

" _Step one, accept she was a damn boss. Step two, hide all the knives, guns, and maybe the pillows, too." ―_ J.J. McAvoy _, Ruthless People_

Within the next two months she became the unofficial inmate store for her dorm. Zoya backed her position, unusually content with sticking around Judy after she had kept her word and let the bear keep her position in the kitchen.

Within the year she had an entire group of inmates working for her.

=-.-=

"You know, I bet you're the first rabbit dorm-queen J," Zoya pointed out at one point.

Judy chuckled at the bear's comment wryly, "Did you know I wanted to be the first rabbit cop when I was growing up?" She shook her head, "Funny how life works."

"Eh," another inmate shrugged, "At least you're first at something though right? Besides, cops suck."

Judy shook her head, "Nah, cops don't all suck. Yeah, you've got the bad ones, but mostly it's some of the laws they get stuck enforcing that are the real problem." She tilted her head, "So really it's the people that pass the laws that are at fault."

Zoya snorted, "There you go with your legal reading again."

Judy shrugged, "It'll end up being useful someday I'm sure."

Zoya rolled her eyes, "Yeah maybe."

=-.-=

In the years before her release Judy managed to get two incompetent and abusive guards fired using her knowledge of the legal system and policy. Some subtle manipulations here and there on her part certainly didn't hurt her case either.

It also didn't take her long to manipulate her way from running her dorm, to having the run of a large portion of the prison, though the guards never suspected innocent little Judy Hopps the do-gooder.


	4. Part IV

Part IV

_**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Disney.** _

" _It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone."_

― John Steinbeck, _The Winter of Our Discontent_

Judy didn't get money put on her phone often, but she checked daily anyway. When she _did_ get money, it was always Gideon wanting to check in whenever he could. She knew he was pinching pennies, even avoiding writing her because of postage costs, and every time she saw the money appear on her account she felt bad about it. Phone calls from detention centres weren't cheap.

He always told her it was his choice what he did with his money.

If she were honest to herself though, she lived for those short fifteen to thirty minute conversations. They were the only times she ever truly let herself feel anything willingly.

=-.-=

Even more rare were the face to face visits.

" _Happy Birthday Judes," he smiled warmly, and her heart ached to hug him despite the visitation rules._

_She smiled instead, "Thanks Gideon."_

" _I-I guess you're eighteen now, huh?" he said thoughtfully and Judy nodded, noting his slower and more concise speech pattern. She realized sadly that the change was probably to compensate for his slight stutter that had only gotten more aggravated over time as he dealt with more and more harassment and stress._

" _Yep," she popped the P, "I'm fully legal now." She grinned wryly, "We should party."_

_Gideon chuckled, "It's too bad they wouldn't let me b-bring a cake, huh?"_

" _Yeah, bunch-a sticks-in-the-mud around here," she nodded and gave him conspiratorial look, "Not that that'll stop us."_

" _Oh? You got something planned?" he asked curiously._

" _Mmmmmhmm," her ears swiveled slightly as she made sure no guards were near enough to hear her. "I managed to get some mammals to smuggle out some cake from staff dining, and Zoya has been working on the drinks for weeks. I hear that stuff tastes like death, but hey," she shrugged. "Gotta celebrate somehow right?"_

_Gideon stared at her blankly for a moment then burst out laughing, "Oh m-man, that's going to be great. Wish I could be there for you."_

" _Alas, my reach is far, but not quite that far," she bemoaned dramatically._

_He shook his head, "I don't know how you've m-managed to do so well on your own. I know I woulda been someone's errand boy before my first week finished."_

_She quirked her eyebrows at him, "Don't give me that big guy, you're tougher than you think you are."_

_He shook his head in amusement, "If you think so Judes."_

_She dropped the subject and hunted for another, ever aware of their decreasing time together, "So how have you been? Is your mom doing okay?"_

" _Eh, we're getting by," he sighed, "I got fired again last week, but I think I f-found somewhere else to work."_

_Judy cringed, seeing the stress in his eyes. "Oh Gideon, you shoulda skipped the visit and saved your money! Those stupid herbivores, I can't believe how they treat predators!" She slammed her paw against the metal table angrily, "You shouldn't have to keep looking for jobs! I_ know _you're a hard worker!"_

_Judy's collar blipped quietly. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, breathing deeply through her nose._

" _Calm down Judes, it's okay," he said, his voice soothing, though his words weren't._

" _No it's not!" she slammed her paw down again then grit her teeth and swallowed sharply as she focused on her breathing._

_Several seconds passed before she heard the collar reset. She immediately opened her eyes and looked at him sharply, "No. It's not okay Gideon." She held up her paw when he looked like he was about to speak, "No mammal deserves to be treated like they are less than anyone else, no matter their species, and you know it."_

_His ears drooped down to match hers and Judy decided it was time to change the topic again before they ran out of time. "But you didn't come here to talk about that." She tapped her chin in thought, then her mouth widened into cheeky a smile, "Have you found any cute vixens out there?"_

_His eyes grew huge and he choked slightly, "W-what? JUDY!"_

_She tilted her head in amusement, "Or would it be a tod? You never really told me which you prefer."_

_He spluttered, "J-JUDY!"_

_She burst out laughing at his flustered reaction, "I kid, I kid. Seriously though, what have you been up to outside of work?"_

_Gideon shrugged awkwardly, obviously relieved at the change of focus, "Not much really. Mostly try to help my Ma out, though I d-did have this idea I kinda want to try out."_

" _Oh?" Judy asked, her ears perking up the slightest bit, "What's that?"_

" _Well," he scratched the back of his neck nervously, "I was thinking about trying my paw at opening a bakery. N-nothing big obviously since I don't have much money, b-but I've always been good with baking things."_

_Judy beamed, "That's a great idea Gideon! Your pies are amazing, and I should know. I've been craving one since I was sixteen."_

_He hunched over slightly, obviously embarrassed by her praise, "You really think so Judes?"_

_Judy thumped her paw on the table, "Of course! A mammal would have to have no good taste-buds to think your baking was anything less that fantastic."_

" _G-gosh Judy, thanks," he said with a bashful smile._

_Judy's ears flicked as she picked up on the sound of one the guards heading toward them, "Ah cripes, I swear visits keep getting shorter."_

_Gideon looked up and noticed the guard as well before looking back at her morosely, "It really was g-good seeing you again Judy. Goodness knows I've m-missed you something terrible."_

" _I've missed you too Gideon," Judy replied, choking up slightly. She coughed lightly to clear her throat and wiped her misting eyes, "You be safe out there alright?"_

_Gideon nodded, "You be safe too Judes, I know you're doing well in here, b-but I worry anyway."_

_Judy smiled, feeling bittersweet, "Only if you will."_

_Gideon smiled back, "Yes ma'am."_

" _Alright Hopps get a move on," the guard shook his head, "I've already given you two extra minutes. They'll have my hide if I give you much longer."_

" _Sorry Stan, you know I only get visits once or twice a year. I'm not trying to get you in trouble," Judy turned to him._

_He huffed, "If I ever figure out who told you my first name I'm gonna have words with them."_

" _Sorry sir, bad habit. Won't happen again," she said, her eyes wide and innocent._

" _Yeah, yeah, whatever Hopps," he grumbled. "Let's go before you get me into trouble."_

" _Yes sir!" she bounced out of her seat and turned to wink at Gideon, "Try opening a delivery service. Then you only need to put in for a van and some better cooking gear instead of an entire store-front."_

_His eyes lit up, "You're a genius Judes!"_

_She smirked, "I know. Talk at ya later, yeah?"_

_Gideon nodded, "Of course."_

_Judy followed behind the guard, but turned around one last time to wave at Gideon when they reached the door._

_Gideon smiled and waved back._

=-.-=

During the time between her eighteenth and twentieth birthday phone calls were more scarce, coming once a month or less, and he was only able to afford a fifteen minute face to face visit for her nineteenth birthday. Judy wasn't surprised, since Gideon was saving money for his venture into entrepreneurship. On her bad days she was bitter about it, but she was proud of him far more often, and let him know every time they were able to talk.

Gideon's excitement was contagious every time he spoke about his work, and it warmed Judy's heart to hear about all of his small successes. He had moved from Pawsy, a website where mammals made their own goods and sold them, to his own website. He had even named his business Gideon's Goodies, and much to her amusement he told her the company's mascot was a cheerful grey bunny in full baking gear named Hopps. After about a year at it, he told her he had managed to fully upgrade the kitchen in his mother's house.

" _It's the only nice area in the entire place, and a lot of it's used stuff, but in a few years I think we could really get the house f-fixed up," Gideon said with a grin during their short visit._

By the middle of her nineteenth year he had managed to get an old refrigerated truck and was making deliveries outside of Bunnyburrow.

" _Bunnyburrow's Baked Goods sounds pretty good for a secondary title, d-don't you think? I mean for when I expand more. So mammals can know where it's f-from," Gideon's tinny voice crackled across the phone line._

_Judy nodded then remembered he couldn't see her, "Definitely. This is so exciting Gideon!"_

=-.-=

Two days before her twentieth birthday Judy checked her account as was her habit and was surprised to find that money had appeared on her books for her phone usage.

She scratched her head in confusion then shrugged; maybe he had enough money for a visit and a call. The last she had heard from him two months prior things had been going well.

She called dibs on the next open phone, and within the hour she was tapping in the phone number she had memorized years ago.

The phone picked up, "Is this Judy Hopps?" a tired female voice asked when the phone connected.

"Um, yes? I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong numb-" Judy started then was cut off.

"You're Gideon's friend right?" the woman asked, her voice shaking slightly, "This is Gideon's mother."

Judy's heart felt like it had just fallen into ice-water, "Ms. Grey? Where's Gideon?"

A sniffle made its way across the line, "I'm s-sorry you have to hear it this way Judy, but Gideon he-" her voice broke, "Gideon is gone. He took his life last month. I've been trying to save up enough money so that we-" she sobbed, "that we could t-talk."

"But-but he was fine last time I called him!" Judy stammered as she stared blankly at the wall.

The vixen breathed in deeply, "His business got ruined. He was doing so well and then, well, someone realized he was a fox. I don't know why it was such a big deal, it's not like he was hiding it, but-"

"No," Judy said, her mouth quivering, "No, don't tell me, I can guess." She shook her head in denial and leaned forward, her forehead touching the wall.

The line was silent for several moments, then, "I'm sorry Judy, I wanted to tell you earlier, I just didn't have any money."

"It's-" Judy's voice cracked and she swallowed, "It's okay Ms. Grey. Did he leave a note, or?"

Judy heard a harsh intake of breath from the other end of the phone, "I. Yes, yes he did. I could copy it for you and send it when I'm able."

Judy stared at the indents and rises in in the painted cinderblock wall, afraid to say yes.

In the end she was more afraid to say no, "Um. If you can, then yes please."

They sat in silence wasting the precious minutes, but unable to care; two mammals trapped in grief.

The one minute warning chime sounded.

"Thank you for being my baby boy's friend Judy, I think you might have been one of the only good things in his life," the vixen said, and her voice trembled.

Judy smiled sadly, "He is-," she cringed and corrected herself, "-was a good man. I'm sorry I wasn't able to be there for him more."

"Don't talk like that now sweetie," the woman chastised, her voice strengthening slightly, "You saved my boy. In more ways than one you saved him. So thank you."

Judy didn't know how to respond to that, "I. Um. You're welcome."

"Please be safe in there Judy, for Gideon's memory," the vixen pleaded.

"I'll do my best ma'am," Judy replied, trying to hold herself together.

Once she hung up the phone she stared at the wall hollowly until tremors started to rack her body, "No, no, _no, no, NO,_ _ **NO**_ ," she chanted to herself, her mutter turning into a wail, her collar going completely unnoticed.

She felt a large paw rest on her shoulder and heard Zoya's voice distantly, "J? J what's wrong?"

The bear shook her small body lightly, but Judy didn't respond.

"Judy, dammit, what is WRONG?" the bear roared sounding panicked.

Judy realized distantly that her collar must be flashing orange to cause the bear to react so much.

"Gideon," Judy whispered.

"Gideon? Your fox boy? What about him?" Zoya questioned frantically.

"He's dead," she stated flatly and suddenly it was too real, and her voice broke, "Oh hells, he's dead. He's dead, he's dead, he's dead."

Distantly Judy heard someone screaming for a guard to get a nurse as she curled in on herself.

She shattered.

Judy didn't even feel the first two shocks.

Then the nurse came and dragged her down into darkness with a needle. 

* * *

 " _Tears shed for another person are not a sign of weakness. They are a sign of a pure heart."_

― José N. Harris _, MI VIDA: A Story of Faith, Hope and Love_

The postcard was covered in dainty script, and each word was painstakingly copied into the small space. Judy did her best to steel herself to read it.

_Ma, Judy,_

_Before you go blaming yourself, stop. You two were the best things in my life, and I love you both. You're the only reasons I even made it as far as I did, but Judes? You were right when you said that no mammal should be treated like they are less others. There's only so much a mammal can take, ya know?_

Judy had to stop.

Her collar was already flashing a dangerous orange.

She gingerly placed the postcard to the side and buried her face in her paws as she tried to stifle her sobbing and bring herself back under control.

Judy slammed her fists against her bed several times and then curled into a ball.

She couldn't even read her friend's last note; couldn't even mourn properly.

Judy had never felt so hopeless.

" _Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell." ―_ Edna St. Vincent Millay

Judy was an automaton.

Or she might as well have been.

Prison didn't allow for weakness, just as the collar didn't allow for emotions, and so she could not afford to be weak or emotional. She played her part, she read her lines, she went through the motions, but at the end of the day when she lay in her bunk staring at the one above her, she was still broken.

_Wind her up and watch her go._

Any time emotion tried to seep through her meticulously maintained detachment it was crippling, so she pushed it away.

And pushed it away.

And away.

_(Anything to not think about it. Anything at all.)_

She was released almost an entire year early for good behaviour.

She was twenty-one, and she had never been more hollow in her life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Half of the times I reread this for editing I made myself cry again. I suppose I'm pretty terrible for posting this on Thanksgiving, huh? Um… don't hate me.


	5. Part V

Part V

_**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Disney.** _

" _You don't want to race a rabbit, mate." ―_ Bunnymund, _Rise of the Guardians_

The first thing that Judy "acquired" when she was released from prison was a scarf.

_Basic Guidelines for Classified Predators_

  1. _Keep collar charged at all times_
  2. _Do NOT attempt to remove collar (tampering will trigger a compliance cycle)_
  3. _Do NOT cover the collar with any item of clothing unless absolutely necessary (i.e. a coat during winter/in Tundra Town)_
  4. _DO NOT attempt to impersonate a non-predator_



_**These are prosecutable offenses.**_ _For further information on these laws, and other relevant laws please refer to O.C.Z.A 12-3-4.1a to 12-3-4.9e_

Judy was in a busy restroom at a train station when she wrapped the stolen decorative scarf around her neck. Amidst the hustle and bustle no one noticed a single rabbit leave the restroom with a new accessory around her neck, and she was easily able to purchase a train ticket with what little cash Ms. Grey had managed to send her. She had walked an extra hour to get to that specific station because she knew the stations closest to the prison checked all IDs, but despite knowing this, she still fought down an unexpected bout of nervousness as the cashier rang up her purchase. After five years of being in corrections the outside world was nerve-racking.

As she rode the train into Zootopia, she stared at the passing scenery despite herself. The environmental adaptations that the city had implemented over the years really were mind-boggling she decided as they passed yet another marvel of technology. When the train reached city's central station, she clambered out of the train car and nearly got bowled over by a passing elephant, of all things.

"Hey, watch where you're stepping buster," she snapped, but he continued on without hearing her. She glared after him and realized he had ear-buds crammed into his ears with wires dangling down. With a grumble Judy continued forward, carefully scampering around the larger animals and sidestepping the smaller ones, while subtly ducking out of the way of any security. Eventually she reached the square in front of the building and was faced with a giant video screen showing some celebrity.

Judy shook her head in amusement, and continued on while she looked for the nearest bus stop. When she found it and saw the image plastered on the side of it she wrinkled her nose. She continued toward it, but had to resist the juvenile urge to pull out a marker and scrawl a mustache across the blown up picture of Governor Bellwether gesturing toward the bus schedule with a stupidly cheerful (and obviously photoshopped, because she had seen that woman's teeth and they were not that straight) smile. If Judy knew anything at all about the Bellwether, it was that the woman was as crooked as her misaligned teeth. The diminutive ewe was the second in a line of Bellwethers to become the Mayor of Zootopia, and it was a Bellwether on the city council that had first suggested the tame-collars when one of Judy's many uncles and several born predators went savage. It hadn't surprised Judy when the woman had been elected Governor of the newly created Zootopian State (that had formed primarily due to the sheep-vote). The entire situation reeked of corruption, and the most obvious sign was the general lack of sheep in jail and prison populations.

With an irritated sigh she ignored the image and skimmed the time-table that was posted inside the small space for the Happy Town District scheduled pickup times. Once Judy found the next time, she checked her watch and realized she had over an hour to wait. She glanced around the area in thought, then decided to wander around a bit and keep an eye out for something to wear aside from the dress she wore to court years ago.

=-.-=

Almost thirty minutes had passed when she saw a flicker of fiery red fur out of the corner of her eyes. Her heart nearly stopped and she jerked her head in the direction she had seen it in.

_Gideon._

A secret part of her cried brokenly when her brain caught up with her heart and saw it was just some other fox. The rest of her was disgusted for the obvious mistake.

"Darn it Judy, you were doing better than that," she muttered to herself as she continued to watch the male with a sharp eye until he skulked toward an elephant-owned ice cream shop. "Now what are you up to?" she mused aloud.

When he went in it piqued her curiosity, so she tugged her floppy (and misappropriated) designer straw hat further down over her ears and adjusted her lost-and-found sunglasses before she strolled casually toward the shop. As Judy stepped into the air-conditioned building, a bell jingled slightly. She looked around and almost missed seeing the fox because of a female elephant's long dress. Then she saw the fennec fox and snorted in amusement. She had met a few in her time in prison, and if they were anything to go by, that "kid" was a full grown adult, and probably had a nasty attitude to boot. As she listened to the fox's story she nearly left, knowing exactly what she was looking at, but the longer the elephant talked the angrier it made her as he began to spew more blatantly discriminatory words.

Eventually Judy couldn't stand it anymore. She strode forward with a bright smile pasted across her face and went along with the foxes' play, "Ah, sir, I couldn't help but wonder what the problem was? The gentleman just wants to buy his son a popsicle."

"The problem? Oh I'll tell you what the problem is, I tried being polite, but we don't serve predators here, and he just can't take a hint!" the elephant trumpeted.

If anything Judy's smile became sweeter as she took off her sunglasses and snapped the arms down precisely, "Oh? Well he wasn't causing any harm. You on the other hand? Well, I don't know how the customers will feel when they find out they're getting snot with their cookies and cream." She tilted her head innocently, "Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure scooping ice cream with an ungloved trunk is a class three health code violation."

The elephant spluttered and Judy saw another elephant stop scooping ice cream, wipe his trunk, and beat a hasty retreat into the back room. The elephant clenched, and unclenched his jaw in irritation, "What do you want lady?"

"Oh, nothing much, I just want you to serve this kind gentleman and his son like a decent person," she said, her eyes wide and guileless. She turned to the fox and had to refrain from snapping at him to pick his jaw up off the floor, "What was it you wanted again?"

He blinked then managed to pull himself together, "A jumbo pop. The red one please."

Judy turned back to the elephant and looked at him patiently, "You heard the gentleman."

The elephant rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah. Whatever lady."

She saw the fox searching his pockets and nearly moaned in frustrated realization. This fox hadn't even planned to pay as part of whatever scam he was running. "Is something wrong?" she questioned, her tone nearly sugary in its sweetness.

"I forgot my wallet!" he gestured, his act surprisingly convincing. "I'd lose my head if it weren't attached to my neck. That's the truth," he added and Judy had to fight against rolling her eyes as he consoled the smaller "boy."

She reached into her rapidly depleting wallet and pulled out exactly fifteen dollars before placing it on the counter, "Here. The jumbo pop please."

As she followed the two out of the store, the fox thanking her profusely, she had to restrain herself from sighing until they were out of view of the store. Once they were clear she stopped walking and crossed her arms, "You owe me fifteen dollars."

"W-what?" he yelped.

"Ten-percent interest per day that you don't pay me back, because I had to save your stupid tail back there," she added sharply.

"Are you kidding lady? And I thought that elephant was bad! That's _just_ like a you stupid prey, always taking advantage of us preds! All I wanted was a gift for my son on his birthday and you're trying to rob me blind," the fox threw his arms up in a show of frustration.

Judy knew it was mostly an act to cover his rear, but she kept seeing flickers of Gideon in him.

The dam of her emotions started to crack and she breathed in deeply through her nose. Unfortunately it wasn't enough.

The beep was relatively quiet in their busy surroundings and could have easily been mistaken for something else, but she saw both foxes' ears perk anyway. They obviously knew that tone.

The red fox looked at the fennec and the smaller one shook his head and shrugged. For a long moment the foxes looked confused, and in that time Judy's collar beeped again, the few moments of distraction enough to calm her down and reset the collar.

Suddenly the foxes' eyes filled with understanding and the red fox spoke in surprise, "Holy moly, are you-"

"Yes," Judy grit out, cutting him off.

"Well I'll be darned, I've never met one of you guys before," he said as mild surprise crossed his features.

Judy laughed dryly, "Probably because we're mostly still in prisons. I 'lucked out' if you will, since I got convicted as a minor and got out a year early. Don't worry though, you'll be seeing more of us as time passes," she added bitterly.

She watched him look her over as he obviously noted her hooded eyes and the way she held herself after her years in prison (the slightest air of threat that could easily be missed depending on how she was acting), "You know, I was gonna say I couldn't see a bunny as a preydator, but nah. I can see it. They only collar the violent ones though, right?" He looked at her warily, "What'd a little thing like you have to do for that?"

She rolled her eyes and stated flatly, "I bit a pig that was holding me back from helping my friend that was about to get killed by his cronies." Judy ignored the reminder of the ever-present empty ache in her chest with well practiced effort.

"But that sounds like self-defense," he croaked aghast.

"You would think so wouldn't you?" She laughed dryly and shook her head, "Too bad my friend was a predator."

He looked to be at a loss for words for a moment before he stuck out his paw to shake, "Sounds like you're a nice girl. Name's Nick. Nick Wilde, and the little guy is Finnick."

Judy took his paw and shook it with a knowing smile, "No relation I presume."

Judy heard the smaller fox snort in amusement as Wilde shook his head, "Not many that could tell a fennec from a fox kit that easily."

Judy shrugged, "Yeah, it's hard not to when you've been at odds with more than one's temper. Anyway," she crossed her arms and looked at Wilde sharply, "Nice try with the distracting me bit, but I wasn't kidding. I saved your hustle... whatever it is," she eyed the popsicle. "I'm not exactly rolling in money right now since I literally just got out of prison _today_ , and I want my money back. It's up to you if that's today or not, but I've got connections and I _will_ find you." He opened his mouth as if to argue, but she held up her paw to cut him off. "Now you can either argue with me and let that thing melt and go to waste," she shrugged, "or you can get a move on and go about your day as normal."

Wilde stood with his mouth agape and suddenly a deep voice boomed out from the unlikely source of the small fennec fox, surprising Judy since she had only dealt with fennec vixens, "Oh man, she got you GOOD!" He chuckled, "Give her some time and she'll give Koslov a run for his money."

"Koslov?" Judy's ears perked slightly, "That's the name of the uncle my polar bear buddy told me to get into contact with when I got out. I wonder if it's the same guy."

Judy watched their eyes widen in fear before Nick spoke, "You know Zoya? Oh man, I knew she was in prison for breaking that guy's arm, but holy sugar biscuits. Are you serious?" He shook his head in disbelief, "She was your _buddy_? Did you work for her?"

"Ah," Judy shook her head in a negative with a slight grin, "Not quite. Try the other way around."

Wilde spluttered, "What do you _mean_ the other way around?! This is the same Zoya we're talking about right? Niece of the biggest mafia head in recent Zootopian history?"

"Ah, that would explain a lot," Judy nodded. "Zoya mentioned something about having connections, but she never specified the mafia. Probably smart honestly, that's not something you want to be flaunting too much when you're trying to get out of prison for good behaviour," Judy shrugged with a condescending smile.

"Who the devil _are_ you?" Wilde yelped.

"Nah man, I think I've heard of her," the fennec interrupted. "Didn't know she was a bunny, but there were rumours floating around that Zoya was overthrown and became a figurehead to protect the real prison boss. Think they called her J."

Judy pointed at him, "Bingo, got it in one."

"Wha-you-bu-" Wilde babbled until Finnick kicked him in the shin, and Judy had to stifle a laugh. She got the feeling that the taller fox was normally pretty on top of things, and apparently he wasn't used to being caught flat-pawed like this.

"Come on man, we need to get a move on. I'm not getting caught up in owing this lady money," the diminutive fox told the taller one.

Judy shook her head with a wry smile, "If you want to pay me back today I'm going to be staying in Aardwolf Apartments in Happy Town District. Ask for J. Hopps in the lobby, they'll know where I am."

She flipped open her sunglasses and popped them on before she turned around and started heading back toward the bus-stop.

"Carrots, wait!" Wilde shouted.

She turned and tilted her head, "Yes?"

He looked at her thoughtfully, his expression oddly sincere after their interaction, "What does the J stand for? It seems a bit impersonal to just go by an initial."

Judy felt herself soften slightly, the green-eyed fox reminding her strongly of her own blue-eyed one despite the obvious physical differences. She sighed and mentally shook herself. It looked like she was going to have a life-long soft spot for foxes, but that didn't mean she would make it too easy for him, "You should really pick up a newspaper sometime. Hit up the library and check for Bunnyburrow about five years ago. It'll be full of manure of course, but I'm sure someone got my name right."

He looked at her like she was insane and she smiled feeling strangely sentimental, "Good luck with your ventures Mister Wilde. If you leave now you may even still be able to turn a profit before your popsicle melts all the way."

The red fox looked back at Fennick who was eying him in obvious frustration while holding a popsicle that had already melted a third of the way down. He cursed colourfully.

Judy wiggled her fingers at them in a wave and strolled away feeling unusually chipper for the first time in over a year.

* * *

" _And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time."_

― Libba Bray _, The Sweet Far Thing_

After Nick paid her off later that day, the next time Judy saw Nick was at Koslov's Palace two years later. There had been another outbreak of mammals going savage, including an entire family of mice that had been in the employ of the mafia leader. Tensions were understandably high.

Judy sat unnoticed in a corner watching the fox plead his case in a room full of much larger and visually intimidating predators, and felt her iced over heart start to melt slightly as he enthusiastically explained - with an _almost_ hidden level of desperation - his dream of building a collar-free theme park for predators. Nick reminded her so much of Gideon as he dreamed up his bakery, that she had to look away for a moment to try and compose herself.

After several minutes she felt Koslov's gaze on her and she quickly pulled herself together. His voice rumbled through the room, "You have had dealings with Mister Wilde in the past J, yes?" Judy nodded and stepped away from the corner toward the boss as he continued, "What was your impression of him?"

She paused a moment to contemplate her response, brushing nonexistent wrinkles out of her impeccable pinstripe suit, "It was only the one situation, but I'd say he wasn't exactly the brightest." Judy paused just long enough for the fox in question to bristle in irritation, then looked up and met the tod's eyes as she smiled smugly. "However, Wilde is good at doing what he puts his mind to. He paid me back within the day despite the circumstances." She turned back to the enormous polar bear, sincerity giving her voice life, "He's honourable too. He gave me a cut of his earnings on top of what he owed me even though I didn't ask for him to. To be truthful he saved me from a lot of headaches those first few days. I didn't have a lot of cash to work off of at the time."

Her boss nodded taking a moment to contemplate what Judy had told him then turned back to Nick, "You will have your loan fox, but I expect to have it paid back with interest within the year."

Wilde swallowed visibly at the strict return rate then nodded, "Thank you sir, you won't regret this."

"I better not," the bear boomed, causing the fox to startle slightly. "If this goes south somehow I will be sure that you are the only one to take the fall for it. You will not have our support past what is required for the loan, do you understand?"

"Yes sir!" Nick stuttered in fearful excitement, "I'll make sure it doesn't come to that!"

"Oh and Mister Wilde?" the bear added, his tone intimidating.

"Um. Yes sir?" Nick's tail flickered in agitation.

"I would like to take my little Morris to your 'Wild Times,' so try to make it worth going to, yes?" the bear rumbled in amusement.

Nick perked up and smiled, "Yes sir! You won't be disappointed."

"Hmm, we shall see." Koslov turned and faced Judy, "Miss Hopps, would you be so kind as to escort our guest to pick up the first installment from his loan?"

She nodded curtly and gestured toward the fox to follow her.

As they exited the room and entered the hallway he spoke up, "What in the world are you doing working for Koslov, Judy?"

"You figured out my name I see," she pointed out in something of a non sequitur.

He rolled his eyes and hefted his theme park model under his arm to readjust it, "Well yeah, it wasn't that hard. There was surprisingly little information in the official papers though. Most of what I found was in the tabloids, and they seemed to think you and the guy you were defending were having a love affair and the pig got in the way."

Judy snorted delicately, "That's the story the pig told anyway. Though I'm not surprised it wasn't in the mainstream media honestly. They didn't want the public focusing too hard on how the main reason for collar law expansion in the smaller towns was a classified predator herself."

"Wait," he barked, "You were the reason for that expansion?" he looked at her in disbelief and some level of animosity.

Judy shrugged, "Not intentionally, but yes. It was actually just the attack against me that set everything off. I didn't have anything to do with it outside of being the victim." She shook her head, "Funny thing is that it was the same fox that attacked me when I was nine that I was trying to defend when I was sixteen years old."

"Oh? He was a fox? It never said his species outside of him being a predator," Nick grinned slyly, "Do I remind you of him or something? You've been oddly nice to me. Well, aside from fleecing me the first time we met, but I think we both know you could have been way worse."

Her heart stuttered and the ever present ache of loss nearly became unbearable. Judy took a calming breath, "A little bit." She chewed on her lip in a rare moment of weakness then whispered, "He was my best friend."

Nick eyed her, his expression thoughtful, "Was? What happened?"

Judy shook her head sharply and slapped her own cheeks to snap herself out of it before she looked at him blankly, feeling more gouged out than normal after her lapse into emotion, "He killed himself a month before my twentieth birthday. I didn't even know until two days before my birthday when his mother scraped enough money together to put on my books for a phone call."

"I'm sorry Carrots, I didn't mean to pry anything bad up," he looked at her in something like sympathy.

Some part of her hated him for it.

Judy abruptly turned away from him and started walking again, "Whatever. It's in the past, isn't it? Let's just go get you that money." She could feel his eyes bearing into her back as she strode away from him determinedly, before he finally gave in and trailed behind her quietly.

=.-.=

They had already finished getting his money and she was in the process of showing him out the door when he finally spoke again, "Okay, look Judy. I would understand if you don't want to, but you seem lonely so-" he paused awkwardly and shifted back and forth on his feet. "If you ever want to hang out or something, my friend Madge runs a pred clinic near the wharves where I hang out with some other mammals if you ever want to drop by."

Judy looked at him, assessing his expression and body language for a long moment, then finally nodded, "I'll think about it."

Nick's face didn't quite light up like Gideon's used to, but his expression certainly brightened and that ever present ache that was usually so easy to ignore throbbed, "Great, then I'll be keeping an eye out for you. See ya around Carrots," he saluted her lackadaisically then turned to head out.

Judy watched him meander up the sidewalk awkwardly holding his model and the attache case that contained his loan, and an old urge to tease for the sake of teasing rose in her.

"Oh and Nick?" she called out and he paused, "To answer your question, I'm Koslov's personal advisor."

When he processed what she said Judy could see his jaw drop even at the angle she was at. "Toodles!" she called out cheerily and slammed the door shut.

She could hear him yell, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" even though it was muffled by the heavy oak door.

Surprisingly her bright laughter was genuine.


	6. Part VI

Part VI

_**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Disney.** _

" _You know how sometimes you tell yourself that you have a choice, but really you don't have a choice? Just because there are alternatives doesn't mean they apply to you."_

― Rick Yancey _, The 5th Wave_

If her life were a slippery slope, Judy thought to herself as she stood in front of Koslov's manor for the first time, she was surely slipping.

She steeled her resolve anyway and carefully observed the compound one last time before she walked up to the two polar bears guarding the main entrance. "J. Hopps here to see _Gospodin_ Koslov. Zoya should have called ahead to let him know I was coming," she stated calmly.

She heard a low grumble that she easily was able to identify as a type of laughter after years in Zoya's company, and she scowled, "Is something funny gentlemen?"

"You are J? You must be joking small one," the one that laughed said.

She rapidly tapped her foot against the ground in false irritation. "Look Raymond, Kevin, I get it, I'm a 'tiny little bunny,'" she drawled imitating their accents and making air quotes with her fingers. "But if you don't hurry up and let me in I'm going in anyway, and I don't think your boss would be too thrilled with you if I did."

One of them growled and she sighed in a show of annoyance, "Okay, I didn't come here to waste my time being laughed at by two overgrown chunks of muscle, so either get over your rather considerably sized selves and let me in, or I'll let myself in."

And that did it. The one that had been growling lunged at her and was quickly followed by the other. With a nimbleness that came from genetics combined with years of exercise she jumped up over the first one's lunging maw and landed on his back before she scampered across him and leapt to the other. With a steady paw she snagged the key out of his pocket, knowing where it was located from days of observation, before she used him as a springboard and jumped to the door-knob. She quickly shoved the key in the lock before they were able to recover and turned it. As they both stood and made their way towards her she pulled out the key and tossed it over their heads.

While the somewhat dim bears turned and scrambled for it before it was lost in the snow, she winked and shot them a peace sign, "Thanks for the help gentlemen." She then jumped on the push-down tab above the door handle and heard a click. In her last few moments she hopped down to the ground and shoved the door open before scampering into the mansion to get lost in the shadows. She took a moment as the two bowled in after her, in order to calm her breathing to make sure her collar wasn't about to go off and give away her position. The bears crashed past her in the direction she assumed she needed to be heading in, so she pranced after them at a much slower pace shaking her head as she went.

As she closed in on her destination she heard panicked shouting and roars, before a much larger booming voice yelled, "SILENCE!"

She winced. Koslov had to be giant, she realized.

"Now. If you two would stop babbling like panicked geese, what is going on?" Koslov rumbled threateningly.

"It was a bunny, Boss! She snuck past us and we have no idea where she went!" one of them belted out.

"A bunny? You do not mean the one I am to be meeting with do you Kevin?" Koslov gowled.

Judy could hear one of the other bears swallow through the slightly ajar door as Koslov continued, "You two are meant to be professionals, yes? And yet you chase off my guests, make them break in, and then act like buffoons trying to find them. Do I need to add that you let a rabbit of all things get past your guard? If I didn't already know her reputation, your families would be drawing your life insurance by the end of the day."

"We're sorry boss, we didn't know -" the third bear, Raymond, Judy assumed, though Koslov cut him off.

"I do not need excuses, I need you to find her. Now go!" the large bear roared.

Judy knocked on the door as soon as the noise had tapered off, before poking her head in. "I believe you were looking for me?" she asked, her expression nearly cherubic.

"Ah, yes," the massive bear recovered himself quickly at her appearance. "Good that you were able to get in Miss Hopps," he glared sharply at the other two bears, "I apologize for Kevin and Raymond. They can be a bit, eh, enthusiastic, shall we say?"

"Oh it was no trouble, _Gospodin_. If anything I enjoyed the challenge, though I wasn't really dressed for it," she said as she stepped into the room, smoothing down her second-hand dress.

"Mmm," he considered her for a moment before turning to his bodyguards, "Gentlemen, _this_ is J. You would do well to remember to leave her alone. She is a feisty one I am told."

She waved at the other two bears, and they watched her warily, "Don't worry about me. So long as we have our little _misunderstanding_ out of the way," she slitted her eyes and gave them a brief icy glare before immediately beaming again, "Then everything should be just fine!"

Koslov chuckled, "You are just like my Zoya said, though I have to wonder what you are here for. You do not seem the sort to go to others for things."

Judy laughed dryly, "Oh no. I may enjoy a certain level of control myself, but I'm not stupid. Prison is one thing, and what you have is certainly not constrained within institutionalized detainment." She met Koslov's eyes, "To be completely frank I've found it entirely impossible to get a job with my criminal history, and I am at the end of my funds." After the statement, she flicked her eyes down and away, having no intention for the mafioso to see her as a threat to him.

"Oh? I assume you do not wish for a loan. You do not seem the sort," he shook his head. "Perhaps you wish for false documentation? It would be difficult with your collar," he gestured towards her scarf clad neck.

"Oh no. I was thinking of something else," she steeled herself. After this there was no going back. The mafia was not good to dabble with lightly, and she was preparing to take a full plunge. " _Gospodin_ ," she placed her paw over her chest and bowed at the waist, "I would like to offer any skills that I have to your disposal in exchange for remaining within your care."

Her ears twitched slightly. She instinctively knew that his eyes were bearing into her skull, but she was oddly calm now that her decision had been made.

An eternity seemed to pass, then he dismissed his bodyguards from his room.

Once they were gone he settled back into his chair and inspected his claws, "Stand up child."

She straightened and met his eyes calmly as she waited for his verdict. This time she would not look away. She needed him to see her resolve.

After a moment of quiet he spoke again, "You were good to Zoya even when you could have dragged her name through the mud and ruined her." He looked her over and nodded, "Yes, you are predator. I can see it in your every move. Smell it even. But you are not heartless, no matter how you may act. We are a mafia child, do not take the term lightly."

Judy opened her mouth to speak, but he held up his paw, "I am not saying that you may not join us, simply that you must guard yourself. It was that heart that has saved you here, and I do not want to see it corrupted. My mafia is cruel, yes, but we are fair up to a point. This is my _sem'ya_ , my family, and we watch over each other. All others? If they follow the rules then we get along. If they do not?" The bear's massive shoulders lifted in a shrug, "Then they will rot."

=-.-=

As Judy rode back to Happy Town in one of Koslov's limousines to pick up what few belongings she had, what was left of her heart - the part of her where she held Gideon - wondered what she was getting herself into. The rest of her smiled hollowly.

_Slip sliding away_

* * *

" _He was the last thread suspending me in the light. Without him, I can feel myself spiraling downward, falling to a place where I can no longer pull myself back up."_

― Marie Lu _, The Young Elites_

The first time Judy tortured a mammal she felt something dying inside of her, even as she threw up into the bushes when she was done.

She had been working for Koslov for eight months.

"Alright there lass?" a passing otter asked, his eyes watching her with worry behind his poorly repaired glasses.

"Ah yeah," she choked out and wiped her face shakily. In that moment she was thankful for the low light of dusk, and her dark unassuming clothes, "Must've been something I ate I guess."

"Maybe you should get to a vet?" he asked worried.

Judy laughed bitterly, "Oh, I doubt they'd want to see me." She carefully pulled her scarf away from the charge-box on her collar, revealing the innocently blinking yellow light. When she saw understanding dawn on his face, she quickly covered it again, "Thank you for your concern though."

"Oh dear. Well I certainly hope you get to feeling better," he smiled shakily and stepped away from her before darting off into the night.

Judy snorted in amusement despite her nausea. Even born predators were wary around preydators, now that there were more of them out and about. Since they were all convicted of violent crimes, it was easy to understand why.

Despite this, most of the time born predators could at least be counted on not to report 'preyds' that were going incognito. Born preds easily understood the desire to be treated normally, and couldn't really hold it against them - especially when it was even harder for classified predators to get a job than it was for born ones.

Judy scrubbed at her face with her paws in frustration, then slapped her cheeks and shook her head to clear it. She didn't have time for weakness, she had work to do.

With a measured calm she pulled a cell phone out of her pocket and dialed the first number on her speed-dial.

The phone rang twice before it connected abruptly. "Tell me you have something J," a deep voice thundered across the line, desperation mixed into the usually intimidating tones of her boss.

She breathed in deeply and steeled herself before she spoke, her voice coming out cold, "I got a location out of him, though he was being _incredibly_ stubborn. I doubt this line is secure, would you prefer to meet up?"

The polar bear growled in agitation, but Judy didn't hold it against him. "They have _my boy_ J. There is no time to meet, just _tell me already._ We will meet you there," he snapped.

Judy nodded and she told him.

=-.-=

The rest of that day was adrenaline and bullets, until it was finally elation, when Morris was rescued.

There was no time for regrets or fear. No time to think.

Oddly, despite the possibility of dying at any moment, Judy hadn't felt that alive in years.

_Adrenaline sang through her veins, its song an addiction._

* * *

" _Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on."_ ―Tim, _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_

Most days Judy didn't feel much of anything.

She drifted through her life doing jobs for Koslov. On an average day she advised him, coordinated his schedule, and occasionally took care of Morris in his absence (after he was kidnapped his father became even more protective, and Judy didn't mind taking care of the boy).

_He was one of the few things that made her feel anything pleasant._

Then came her occasional more _exotic_ jobs.

" _J, I just wanted to thank you for helping me find my boy. I will forever be in your debt," the polar bear stated, his expression sincere. "If you hadn't interrogated that piece of_ musor _, that trash..." he trailed off and shook his head. "But that is not the only reason I called you here," he continued, his expression grim._

_Judy shifted from foot to foot, adjusting her scarf habitually. This time, the action caused the smell of sweat and gunpowder to drift to her nose, "I'm just glad I was able to get the information in time Sir."_

" _Yes," he replied and his eyes seemed to pierce into her dying soul. "What you did J, while I am grateful for the results, I think perhaps that you should not have done it. You have changed. It is in your scent."_

 _Judy flinched slightly, and her eyes darted away from his for a moment before her expression hardened and she returned her gaze to his. "Will all due respect_ Gospodin _, whatever the cost to myself, it was worth it," she stated firmly. "This is my family now, and I will not lose anyone else if I can help it, no matter what it takes from me."_

" _Whatever it takes?" he asked seriously._

_Judy nodded in confirmation, "Whatever it takes."_

As a rabbit she had more freedom of movement than many of the mafia members, so she was often tasked in verifying the authenticity of any threats against Koslov's "Family." In cases where threats were verified, and subtlety was required to deal with them, she became the go-to solution if the presence of a born predator would have drawn attention.

_The poisoner, the bait, the knife in the back, the unexpected assailant that easily blended into the masses of herbivores_

_The torture specialist_

After her first foray into the land of causing pain to attain information, Judy realized (with no small amount of self disgust), that she was rather unfortunately adept at the practice.

More worrying was the sense of control it started to give her in a life that had been so far out of her control for so long.

Some days, if the one she was torturing was terrible enough a mammal, she enjoyed it.

_Falling apart bit by bit, only to be put back together in a new shape_

She ended up building a reputation in whispers: an unknown but vicious preyd with no morals; little more than a shadow.

Some days she wondered how far off the mark the rumours would be after a few more years of doing what she did.

=-.-=

" _It's part of what we call the Shadow, all the dark parts of us we can't face. It's the thing that, if we don't deal with it, eventually poisons our lives." ―_ Michael Gruber _, The Good Son_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Any mistranslations can be fully blamed on my dependence on using a translator  
> Gospodin = Mister in this case; it can also mean lord, master, gentleman, sir, and monsieur


	7. Part VII

Part VII

_**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Disney.** _

" _Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." ―_ Lao Tzu

A week after Nick came to Koslov's Palace Judy found herself staking out a small unassuming clinic wondering what she was even doing there.

The memory of how the fox's face had brightened when she said she would think about visiting flashed across her mind's eye and she cursed. He didn't need to be mixed up with the things she had her paws in. She would only drag him down with her.

Judy took a final cursory look at the clinic and walked away.

=-.-=

A month passed and Judy stood with her paw on the (oddly considerate) small clinic door for shorter mammals with an uncertain look on her face. She stood there for several long moments, staring at her reflection in the glass, her thoughts warring with each other before her expression finally settled into one of determination.

Her ears brushed against her openly visible tame-collar as she stepped inside. A small jingle announcing her presence.

Judy was immediately met with a girlish squeal that nearly made turned around, and walked right back out.

"Oh. Em. Goodness. You must be that rabbit doe that Nick was talking about!" exclaimed a rather rotund cheetah wearing a green shirt, his own tame-collar nearly invisible under his chubby cheeks. "I gotta tell you, you're even cuter than I thought you'd be."

"Um. Thanks," she replied, and she felt her eye twitch. "For future reference though, a bunny can call another bunny 'cute,' but when other animals do it, that's a little…" she trailed off.

He gasped, "Oh no! I'm so sorry, I didn't know!" he lamented. "Can you forgive me?"

His obvious sincerity surprised Judy and she found herself nodding.

" _Hey Judes, why's it so bad ta call bunnies c-cute?" Gideon asked, the question innocent and sincere._

_Judy shrugged, "Bunnies were stereotyped as being dumb and cute for decades. It got to the point where the two terms ended up becoming interchangeable when mammals talked about us. You may not mean it, but a lot of mammals are basically just calling us dumb when they say it."_

" _Rabbits ain't dumb Judes. Heck, yer one of tha' smartest ones in yer grade, and don't think I don't know it," Gideon said so fervently that Judy had to laugh._

" _Thanks Gideon," she said with a sunny smile._

She smiled slightly, the memory unexpectedly painless, and she refocused on the cheetah, "Don't worry about it, you know now."

"Oh dear, where are my manners?" he blurted out, "My name is Benjamin Clawhauser. Nice to meet you Miss Hopps!" He leaned forward across the front desk with his paw jutting down for her to shake.

She took one of his fingers gently and shook it, "Please call me J. Most mammals do." He beamed and his smile was infectious. The edges of Judy's mouth twitched up slightly on their own volition. "I don't suppose Nick is around?" she asked cautiously.

The cheetah's ears drooped slightly, "Oh right! No, he's not here right now, but I can let him know you stopped by. He mostly comes on weekends now that he's busy with that project he's working on with Finnick."

She nodded, "That would be great, thanks so much. I'm sure I'll be seeing you around Clawhauser."

As she left the clinic she sighed. Some part of her was thankful that Nick hadn't been there today.

She shouldn't have ever gone, though she had to admit that the interaction had been nice.

=-.-=

The next time she found herself at the clinic, months had passed, and she was with a recently released Zoya that had _insisted_ that Judy take a break and do something fun for once.

Judy had conceded, but only on the condition that they check on Nick's progress with his pet project.

She stood stiffly as the much taller polar bear pushed open the main door to the clinic before she followed the other woman in.

"Welcome to Madge's Medical Clinic, what can I do for you toda-" a musical voice sang out before it cut itself off with the same squeal from her previous visit. "There you are you little dickens! Where have you _been!_ It's been months!"

If it were possible Judy's ears would have sunk lower, "Hello Clawhauser," she responded flatly with a slight wave. "You're just as cheerful as last time." She turned to face Zoya, "This is Clawhauser, I told you about him." She turned back to the cheetah, "And this," she gestured toward the polar bear, "Is Zoya. Koslov's niece."

To Judy's private amusement Clawhauser froze at the information. After a few moments he recovered. "Well," he laughed awkwardly, "Hello there. Um. What can I do for you ladies?"

Always straightforward, Zoya spoke; her voice unintentionally intimidating, "We are looking for Nick Wilde. Is he here?"

Obviously jumping to the conclusion that Nick was in trouble, the cheetah rubbed the back of his head, "Ah, about that. He's been really busy lately..." The cheetah trailed off.

Judy crossed her arms, deliberately adding to the intimidation factor, "That's not an answer Benji. Why don't you try again?"

He looked startled by the nickname, as if he wasn't sure if he was pleased with it or not, "Sorry, uh. He's kinda in the basement right now."

"The basement," Judy repeated flatly. "Why in the- you know what? Nevermind I don't care. Come on, let's go," she gestured to Zoya.

"Wait, go where?" he asked sliding not-so-subtly into the doorway that lead further into the office.

Judy scampered between his legs, as Zoya shoved past him with a polar bear's idea of gentleness. Judy turned back toward him, "The basement obviously. Are you coming or not?"

He stared at them, his mouth agape and Judy shrugged and continued on.

She heard him moan, "Oh heck, Honey's gonna kill me," before she heard the clatter of his clawed feet on the linoleum floor as he chased after them. He caught up to them surprisingly fast given his size, though he was certainly slow for his species. As they continued forward, he followed behind them wringing his tail in worry. He seemed oddly subdued given his personality, but Judy didn't see any point in drawing attention to her observation.

When they reached the entrance to the basement, Judy's eyebrows raised as she looked at the reinforced steel door that stood open at the entrance to the stairs. She eyed the cheetah in suspicion, but didn't sense any deceit from him so she started down the metal grated steps.

As they got closer Judy heard a female voice echo up the metal plated walls. "I don't care what you think, it's the sheep! You know how They are! They've got spies everywhere!"

She recognized the male voice she had only heard on three occasions immediately. "For the last time, she's not with the sheep. She's here with a polar bear for the love of crackers and cheese!"

Judy hopped down the final few steps, "Who's a spy?"

Nick looked at her and sputtered momentarily, "No one here is a spy!"

"Oh?" she asked, her tone deliberately teasing, "Are you sure?"

"No I am not!" a female honey badger interjected attempting to poke Judy in the chest, but failing as Judy stepped smoothly out of the way. "How am I supposed to know They didn't send you?"

Judy nodded in faux seriousness, "You make a good point since someone _did_ send us. I don't know if it's the "They" that you're talking about though. Unless you mean Mister Koslov of course."

Nick placed his paw on his face and shook his head in exasperation, "Please don't feed into her paranoia Carrots. It's not nice."

Judy sniffed innocently, "I don't know what you're talking about Mister Wilde."

The badger interrupted again, "Fine, you say you're not a sheep spy? What do you think of Governor Bellwether?"

Judy's expression went flat, her eyes steely, "Their family has been in power for too long, and that stupid ewe would do us all a favour by jumping in a vat of corrosive fluids and dissolving."

The badger's eyes flashed behind her glasses, a worrying mixture of intelligence and insanity visible momentarily before she nodded, "I like her Nick. You may keep her." She gestured around the room, "Welcome to my safe-room Miss J. Hopps." She turned to the polar bear, "And you must be Zoya. Dobro pozhalovat' tovarishch."

Zoya gave her an odd look, "Bol'shoye spasibo. You seem to have worked hard to create this space Miss..."

"Madge Badger, though my friends call me Honey, and it was no big deal," the woman shrugged. "It's only taken a few years, and I've had help from others."

"I see," Zoya commented seemingly at a loss for words.

Judy decided to pipe up and change the subject, "Anyway, we were here to see Mister Wilde about his process-" she was cut off by a loud harumph from Zoya's direction. To her credit Judy's only reaction was a slight twitch of her ears before she continued speaking without breaking her stride, "And once we were done with that I figured it might be a fun idea to hang out." Inwardly she cringed, she hadn't done anything normal mammals would consider 'fun' in so long she wasn't sure she even remembered how.

Nick brightened, "Oh yeah sure! Hold on, let me just grab my stuff."

Judy watched him walk over to a plastic tub and tug it back over to her before prying off the lid, "This may take a while."

Judy wanted to groan, but the sheer enthusiasm coming from a mammal that was obviously very cynical under normal circumstances wouldn't let her.

" _Judy, you won't believe it! I sold my first p-pie today!" Gideon exclaimed, his excitement audible over the phone._

_Judy smiled warmly, "That's great news Gideon! Did they leave a review?"_

" _Uh huh! It was r-really nice and they gave me four gold paws!" he gushed._

" _You're on your way big guy," she grinned._

Judy looked at all of the work that Nick had put into what he was trying to make, and she clenched her jaw in determination. She was going to do everything she could to make sure he succeeded.

She refused to watch someone else's dreams get crushed. Life was hard enough already.

When she and Zoya left that evening, they had made plans to meet every weekend.

 

" _Hold fast to dreams_

_For if dreams die_

_Life is a broken-winged bird_

_That cannot fly._

_Hold fast to dreams_

_For when dreams go_

_Life is a barren field_

_Frozen with snow."_

― Langston Hughes, _Dreams_  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Since Honey is such a paranoid, conspiracy-obsessed nut, I couldn't resist having her using one of the best known Russian stereotypes to greet Zoya.
> 
> Dobro pozhalovat' tovarishch = welcome comrade
> 
> Bol'shoye spasibo = thank you very much
> 
> Any mistranslations can be fully blamed on my dependence on using a translator


	8. Part VIII

Part VIII

**_Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Disney._ **

“ _ What happens to a dream deferred? _

_ Does it dry up _

_ Like a raisin in the sun? _

_ Or fester like a sore-- _

_ And then run? _

_ Does it stink like rotten meat? _

_ Or crust and sugar over-- _

_ like a syrupy sweet? _

_ Maybe it just sags _

_ like a heavy load. _

_ Or does it explode?” _

―  Langston Hughes,  _ Dreams _

The power in the warehouse cut to pitch, and the merry lights on the rides died with it. After a moment of eerie silence the backup generator kicked in, causing flashing crimson lights of a different kind to strobe across the darkness, as an alarm screamed.

Every single predator in the building began to flee toward the escape route. The level of panic being exhibited made Judy glad that none of the theme-park's visitors were currently wearing their collars.

_ Judy watched Morris with a fond smile as he scampered among the game booths, collarless for the first time since his traumatizing sixth birthday party. _

“ _ You’ve done a good thing here, Nick,” she commented to the fox that lounged in a chair beside her, taking a break from greeting guests. _

“ _ You say that like you didn’t help,” he grinned widely, and the unguarded expression made her heart stutter slightly. _

_ She shrugged lazily and leaned on the counter of the snack stand she was currently working, resting her cheek on her paw, “I suppose I may have had a paw in a few things here or there.” _

_ He rolled his eyes good-naturedly, “Understatement of the year there Judy. Not to mention the debt I’d still be in if you hadn’t helped out with the hustles.” _

_ She chuckled, “Oh no, if you still owed Koslov money you’d be selling your organs on the black market unwillingly.” _

_ He winced, “Dang Judy, you really know how to crack a joke.” _

_ She glanced sideways at him, “Oh that was no joke dearest Nick.” She leaned toward him in order to meet his eyes, her own violet ones suddenly dark and haunted in her expressionless face. “Seriously, don’t ever take out a loan from the mafia ever again. It’s a bad idea.” _

_ Nick grimaced, “Yeah, I didn’t plan to.” He sank further down into his seat, “I’m just glad mammals like the park.” _

_ Judy shook herself mentally, and pulled herself away from the sudden downturn in her emotions, before she looked around and nodded, “Like I said, you’ve done a good thing here. I’m proud of you Wilde.” _

Glass shattered from the skylights and rained down, followed by ropes and the sound of helicopters. Within moments figures were rappelling down into the warehouse and Judy cursed. If she didn’t do something they were going to cut off some of the guests from the escape route.

She grit her teeth in resolve and dove forward into the melee, depending on her experience to save her as she drew her butterfly knife. Within moments she was darting amongst the various herbivores, most many times her size, cutting through tendons and other debilitating spots where she was able, and going for more vital blows where she couldn’t.

The chaotic mass pulsed around her, but the giant room-turned-echo-chamber was so filled with the alarm that none of them noticed the screams until they realized their team members were collapsing around them. By that point Judy had already dropped at least ten of the team members, and after judging that they would be suitably distracted, had ducked back out of the group. A few members of the attack team began firing some sort of weapon, but with a lack of visible target, they were firing blindly.

As the last few predators made it out of the warehouse Judy saw Nick looking at her, his expression twisting into something she couldn’t quite pin down. She looked down at herself, and realized she was soaked from head to toe. The liquid appearing black in the flashing red lights, but Judy knew better. She cringed and looked back up at him. She had never told him what exactly she did for the mafia, and he had never asked again after that first time.

Nick's face contorted again, and his expression smoothed out, as he held out his paw for her to take. Hesitantly she grasped his paw, and they started moving together. As he tugged her along and they entered the hidden escape passage, she realized she was sobbing brokenly.

“ Judy,” he started.

She looked away, “Don’t look, please. Please don’t. Oh hells, I knew I shouldn’t have involved you with me. I ruin everything I care about.”

“ Judes!” he snapped, demanding her attention this time. Her eyes snapped to his as her chin wobbled with suppressed emotion.

“ _ What’s up Judes?” Nick asked when she walked into Honey’s basement. _

_ Judy’s head snapped to him and her eyes drained of all emotion, “Do NOT. EVER. Call me that AGAIN.” _

“ _ Oi, so-rr-ry,” he drawled with his paws up, “Looks like I stepped on a nerve.” _

_ Judy breathed in harshly through her nose, then breathed out and continued in an empty monotone, “Gideon called me that. It brings back memories I would rather not think about.” _

“ How could you?” she whispered, her voice cracking mid-way through the question.

“ Because Judy, we all have things we don’t want to think about. Things that we don’t want other people to know about,” he snapped, then he sighed. “But that doesn’t mean that’s healthy okay?”

She looked away from him, unable to meet his eyes, “I don’t care. It’s-it’s just easier this way. It’s how I’ve been able to live up until now.”

Nick slumped slightly as they continued to walk, “I figured as much. Look Judy, if you thought I didn’t suspect what your job entailed, then that’s the first dumb thing I think I’ve ever seen you do.”

Judy startled slightly then glared at him, “Oh really?”

He snorted, “Yeah.”

She glared a few moments more before her expression collapsed. “But that look you gave me when you saw,” she gestured toward her slowly drying, but still soaked body, “this.”

Nick winced, “Yeah, well I didn’t exactly expect to see it up close and personal so abruptly.” He paused and looked at her seriously, “It’s one thing to suspect, it’s another to have it happen right in front of you. I just- how do you do it?”

“ Do what?” Judy laughed hollowly, “Injure? Maim? Kill?” She paused for a moment then added in a whisper, “Live with myself?” She shook her head, “Gideon has been dead for over five years now, and I don’t think I ever feel alive enough for it to bother me except when I’m with you five. Nick, you’re my lifeline. I’m a better mammal around you.”

“ Then stay with us,” he implored. “I doubt Koslov would stop you, you’re his favourite.”

Judy shook her head bitterly, “Nick, you don’t get it. I  _ can’t _ . The things I do? Some messed up part of me  _ likes  _ doing them.” She looked ahead of them blankly and sighed, “I’ve been doing my job for too long. I remember I used to worry that this would happen to me. I wonder when I stopped caring.” She turned back to him and met his bright green eyes, “I’m sorry Nick. I’m not some nice girl. I’m damaged beyond hope, and I shouldn’t have misled you.”

Nick shook his head, “Don’t. Don’t you dare. You can’t get rid of me that easily, Carrots.”

She looked at him in surprise, then her ears perked slightly as she picked up the low rumble of hooves and paws following them in the distance, “Shoot, they found the passage. We’ve got to move.”

They sped through the final stint of the tunnel rushing the predators in front of them to the end so that they could pick up their tame-collars from the box that had already been transported to the exit.

When Judy and Nick finally exited the tunnel they had to stop for a moment, as their horror filled eyes reflecting the pillar of flame and smoke that was all that was left of Wilde Times.

Judy heard Nick whimper slightly as embers rained down around them even at their current distance.

She took his paw and led him away as his dream became ash.

* * *

 

“‘ _...And you know what happens when a ship gets too many rats on board? It sinks. That's what.’ I wondered if a ship had ever really sunk that way.” ―  _ David Wong _ , John Dies at the End _

“ It was that filthy, scheming, excuse for a lion, Lionheart, I just know it!” Honey exclaimed angrily as she crashed her fist into one of her lab tables, her lab coat flapping loosely over her favourite camouflage cargo pants and black tank-top. “I always suspected he worked for the darn sheep, but this is proof. Proof I say!”

They hadn’t met in over two months for the sake of safety, and already the badger was going off on a conspiracy theory rant.

Judy had to restrain herself from rubbing her temples, “Do you have anything  _ else _ Madge?”

“ Oh right!” The badger pushed her glasses up her nose and snatched up a clipboard, “You guys aren’t going to believe this pile of manure. Those weird weapons they were firing? They left some kinda nasty blue stuff wherever they hit. Luckily, I took a sample of before I left the building, because it turns out that it was  _ Midnicampum holicithias _ ,” she flipped the clipboard around and showed the group a picture of an innocent looking blue flower.

The scientific name had sounded familiar to Judy, but as soon as she saw the picture she tilted her head confused in recognition, “Night howlers? What about ‘em?”

“ This flower is the reason for  _ everything,  _ guys,” the badger gestured with manic agitation.

“ Gonna need you to be a bit more specific woman,” the booming voice of Finnick demanded in obvious frustration.

Honey glared at him, “I’m getting to it short-stuff, just give me a minute, sheesh.”

He rolled his eyes, “Then get to it.”

The woman muttered to herself distractedly for a few moments then her focus snapped back on topic, “Right. Well I ran some tests and this stuff is  _ insane _ . It’s a highly concentrated variant of the flower bloom, that has all of properties of a neurotoxin aimed to set off extreme levels of aggression.”

“ What exactly are you implying here Honey?” Nick asked warily, his tone indicating he had an idea, and he didn’t like it.

She shook her head, “Guys, I tried this stuff on some bugs and they started attacking each other. I’ve never seen anything like it. I think somebody has been drugging mammals. This flower has been weaponized.”

For several moments a pin could have been heard dropping in the silence; then the room erupted with voices.

* * *

 

“ _ Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." _

―  John F. Kennedy,  _ [Remarks on the first anniversary of the Alliance for Progress, 13 March 1962] _

Judy sat on the ground outside of the clinic, her back against the rough brick as she stared at the setting sun silently. The clinic door opened and her ears twitched, but aside from that she didn’t react.

“ Almost thought you’d left. How’re you holding up?” the smooth tone of Nick’s voice caressed her and she shrugged.

“ Everything is one big lie,” she stared ahead, her voice empty. “All this stuff that predators have to go through on a daily basis, and it’s based on what? Some government reinforced fear? How do you  _ think _ I’m holding up? All of these ruined lives for nothing.” Her voice cracked, the memory of Gideon superimposing itself over the sinking sun in her mind's eye, “All of the death.”

Judy heard him settle down on the ground beside her and they sat like that in silence for several minutes before he spoke, his voice fervent, “We know the truth now, and we have proof. That has to mean something.”

Judy laughed emptily, “You think we’re the first ones to find out? No. I’m sure there have been others. They’re probably dead or test subjects by now.”

Nick placed his paw on hers and she startled slightly, before turning to him and meeting his intense green eyes as he spoke, “Then we’ll  _ make _ it mean something. We’ll find a way.”

As Judy watched him, she saw so much hope and determination in his eyes that she almost felt it herself. She turned away and sighed, “Do you know what you’re asking for Nick?”

There was a brief pause, and Judy almost expected him to retract his statement. Then she heard him exhale sharply through his nostrils, “Yes.”

She glanced back at him, her eyes serious and echoing with unspoken crimes, “Do you really Nick? You’re asking for revolution against a government that has been in place since before you were born. This isn’t one of your hustles. Mammals are going to get hurt or worse. Will  _ have _ to be hurt. By you.” He inhale in sharply, but she ploughed ahead, “How far are you willing to stretch your morals Wilde? Are you willing to break them?”

Nick looked away for a moment, obviously lost in thought, before he turned back. His hardened gaze clashing with hers, “If I have to, then yes. If that’s what it’s going to take; because this can’t go on. I don’t want any more children to grow up like us.”

Judy’s gaze bore into his, taking the measure of his resolve before she nodded, “Alright then. I’ll help you.”

They sat in contemplative silence long after the sun had sunk behind the horizon. Judy knew they would need to make plans, but she selfishly put it off, if only for that brief moment in time.

She was too content sitting with Nick’s paw over hers, gently rubbing circles across her palm with one of his fingers.


	9. Part IX

Part IX

_**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Disney.** _

" _Sometimes you have to choose between a bunch of wrong choices and no right ones. You just have to choose which wrong choices feels the least wrong." ―_ Colleen Hoover _, Hopeless_

"... and you're sure there's no other option? There are going to be a lot of mammals caught up in this," Clawhauser winced as he looked over the blueprints for Bunnyburrow's Town Hall.

Judy drummed her fingers on the table and sighed wearily, "You know this is plan B Benji, but if we can't get her with plan A…"

She was cut off by a loud clang, as the door to the basement slammed shut. Honey scampered down the stairs with Finnick following behind her closely. "Woo that was way too close that time," the badger exclaimed. "They've really started upping the police presence out there."

"Did you do it?" Nick asked, his serious expression an unfortunately common experience these days.

Finnick nodded, his deep voice grave, "Got one of the city council members this time. I'm betting it'll be on the news soon."

Judy nodded in satisfaction, "Good. They'll start dispersing to protect themselves, since they're still under the impression that it's contagious. That will make them easier to pick off."

Clawhauser moaned, "Oh I don't like this, guys. What if you get caught?"

Nick shrugged, his green eyes grim, "Then someone will replace us. We've been spreading pamphlets enough and planted enough evidence that even if we get dealt with there will be others that follow in our pawprints."

As Judy watched the fox, an unexpected twinge of loss went through her. Ever since that day over a year and a half ago, Nick had been changing in increments. Now she could see something of what she was reflected in his eyes. He was still much better off than her, but the moments of warmth and the sparkle in his intelligent eyes were becoming less common, and all the more treasured for it.

She shrugged her worries off with years of practiced apathy, and refocused on the conversation, "We've only got a few more hits left before the big event. Zoya has already gotten our identification finalized, and Koslov is getting our supplies ready." She smiled darkly, "It won't be much longer guys. If everything goes well everyone will know the truth before the end of next month."

* * *

" _Look at these people_

_Amazing how sheep'll_

_Show up for the slaughter"_

" _Why can't they see what I see?_

_Why can't they hear the lies?_

_Maybe the fee's too pricey for them to realize_

_Your disguise is slipping, I think you're slipping"_

" _Society is slipping,_

_everything's slipping away, so_

_go ahead, run away_

_say it was Horrible"_

―Dr. Horrible/Billy, _Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog_

Bunnyburrow was crawling with more mammals than it had ever contained in its entire existence, despite its ever-multiplying rabbit population, and it thoroughly unnerved Judy. Every turn she made she expected to run into someone that would recognize her, the worst possibility being her parents.

It had been ten years since she had seen them, and their abandonment was still something she avoided thinking about.

Judy shook her head and turned to Nick, "Political conventions sure do draw a crowd."

He nodded, "I'll say. I don't think the town hall is going to have enough room for even a twelfth of this crowd."

Judy looked around her, "Yeah, I knew the giant screen in the town's main park was going to be for overflow, but this is just insane."

Nick shot her a glance, "Do you think we need to change the plan?"

Judy shook her head in a negative, "No. We already know that the speeches will be made from the town hall. Nothing has changed in that aspect."

He sighed, "It's just… if something goes wrong, that really _is_ a lot of mammals."

Judy frowned bleakly, knowing his conscience was going through its death throes, "Nick, if there were a better way we would have found it by now."

Nick grimaced, "I know, I just wish…" he shook his head. "Never mind."

Judy lightly punched his arm, trying to brighten the mood even slightly, "Hey, if everything works out the way it's supposed to then you've got nothing to worry about."

Nick forced a smile, "Yeah. Yeah, you're right of course."

As he headed in the direction of their hotel and Judy followed behind him, a morose expression crept its way across her face.

=-.-=

" _Madam Governor, what do you have to say about the recent rash of savage cases among upper-class citizens?"_

" _Madam Governor, what do you think of the pamphlets and posters that have been found spread throughout Zootopia?"_

" _Madam Governor, is it true that there is a group of terrorists trying to insight anarchy?"_

" _Madam Governor, is the State of Zootopia in danger?"_

" _Madam Governor!"_

" _Madam Governor?"_

" _Governor Bellwether!"_

" _Madam Governor, over here!"_

A pre-recorded press conference echoed around her as Judy watched the convention floor from her perch, tucked away and invisible to the mammals that trickled into the room below. She frowned in disgust as the once-Mayor danced through a gauntlet of questions on the video screens, "I'm here, Claws," she muttered, "though I think this manure may make me sick if I have to listen to it much longer."

"Righty-o, try not to puke and give away your position," the cheetah's voice crackled through her earpiece, his normally cheerful tone interspersed with worry.

Judy snorted, "I'll be fine Claws, just make sure you keep an eye on your surroundings. We don't need our communications mammal ambushed."

"If you two don't shut up right now I will personally come to your positions and ambush you myself," a deep voice filled Judy's ear, and she laughed dryly.

"Oh come on Stumpy, they're just trying to lighten things up a bit," Nick's mellow voice crossed the channel.

"I told you not to call me that!" the fennec fox hissed.

"Sorry bud, it was just too perfect a call-sign to pass up," Nick replied flippantly.

"Any idea where Nuts is, Red?" Judy interrupted before Finnick could go on a verbal rampage.

"Don't worry about me Fluff, I'll be there soon," Honey's voice hummed across the channel as Judy started to scan the room's security forces using the detached scope from her disassembled rifle.

"You darn well better be. This van is leaving with or without you guys," Finnick muttered.

"Be patient Stumpy, it's almost time," Judy consoled Finnick, as she lowered the scope and scanned the crowd without it. Then she cursed.

"What is it Fluff? Did someone see you?" Nick asked anxiously.

"No," Judy bit her lip as she looked at the back of two _very_ familiar heads. Even after all this time she couldn't mistake them for anyone else, "My parents are here."

"What?! Where?" Nick yelped.

"The first section," replied grimly.

"We can abort if you-" Nick started.

Judy stared forlornly at the two rabbits that had raised her only to abandon her. No matter how much she wished she could hate them she couldn't, but... "No." Judy cut off Nick, and something she didn't realize had still been alive in her withered painfully. She breathed in deeply in the midst of stunned radio silence, "This is bigger than what I want. We've been working toward this for too long, and we don't know if we'll have another chance like this again. Besides," she sighed in defeat, "They made their choice ten years ago, and I can't do anything to change that."

"Okay," Nick said quietly, as Judy tore her eyes away from Bonnie and Stu Hopps. "With any luck, your aim is as good as you claim and we won't have to worry about it," he added with forced cheer.

"It's not my aim that I'm worried about," Judy replied pessimistically.

"I'm heading into position," Honey piped in. "I'll be radio-silent from this point on. Good luck guys."

Judy shook her head and refocused on the plan, "Right. You too, Nuts."

* * *

" _You can devise all the plans in the world, but if you don't welcome spontaneity; you will just disappoint yourself." ―_ Abigail Biddinger

Judy had sat in the same cramped spot for so long she thought her back would never be the same again, but it was finally almost time.

"And now we will turn the stage over the Governor herself. Please put your paws and hooves together for Lady Bellwether!" the master of ceremonies announced and the room erupted into cheers.

"Ugh, I don't think I've heard a more disgusting sound in my life," Judy muttered.

"Just a little longer. Fluff," Nick reminded her sedately.

She shifted in frustration as she eyed the stage, waiting for the little ewe to make her appearance. "I know, it's just…" she paused mid-sentence as a previously ignored panel in the stage dropped down. "What in the…"

The top part of a transparent case started rising out of the floor and Judy cursed, "This is bad."

"Is that…" Nick started.

"Oh no," Clawhauser whimpered.

They all watched directly or through the live broadcast, as a glass cube containing the small sheep and a podium rose out of the trap door.

"That conniving, slimy, _manipulative_ little ewe. She knew. She _knew_ someone was going to try something," the thundering voice of Finnick summed up what they were all thinking.

"What the _flying buckets of fudge_ are we supposed to do _now_ Fluff? One hundred bucks says that thing is bullet-proofed!" Nick exclaimed, and Judy could hear the stress in his voice, as her mind raced, "We thought she was only going to use the trap-door as an escape route!"

Judy realized quickly that while she could probably fix this, the others just weren't going to like what she was going to have to tell them. "It's okay guys. I can break the glass," she reassured them.

The channel was silent for a few moments, and the sheep's voice began to echo around the room before Nick spoke, "Fluff. You _promised_."

She winced, then shook her head and hardened her resolve, "And it's a good thing I broke that promise Red, otherwise plan B would be the only option."

"What's she talking about Red?" Clawhauser asked hesitantly.

Judy could hear the betrayed anger in Nick's voice, "She brought her normal ammo." He paused for a moment then continued, his tone accusatory, "While we're on the topic of lies, what _else_ did you bring Fluff?"

Judy's hackles rose defensively, "Look, I'm sorry, but I can't be as optimistic as the rest of you. This was my plan C in case everything went sideways and there were no other options. Bellwether _has_ to be stopped or this will never end."

No one said anything for several minutes as Bellwether droned on, then Nick's voice sounded in her ear, his tone tired. "I'm sorry Fluff."

Judy shook her head to herself, suddenly feeling just as tired as Nick had sounded, "No, it's fine. I just wanted to avoid any of you having anything else on your conscience. If lying to you could protect you, then I was willing to do it." She shrugged, "In the end what's a little more red on my paws in the scheme of things?"

This time Judy made use of the suffocating silence to slide some of the specially treated rubber tipped cartridges out of one of her gun magazines with her gloved paws, before she carefully returned them to her storage container. While Honey had told her they were safe to handle, she wasn't taking any chances with the Night Howler laced ammunition.

As she was pressing the new full metal jacket cartridges in on top of the remaining treated cartridges, Nick spoke softly, "You don't need to protect me Fluff. Back when this started I told you I would break my morals if I had to. I may not have wanted to think about what that really meant and that probably made this a lot harder for you, but if it comes down to it, and you have a spare weapon I'll help you."

Judy was about to protest, but was interrupted by Honey's voice, "Hold the moral dilemmas for later guys, I've taken control of the tech booth. Get ready to rock and roll; the next item on the docket is the Savage Research Analysis."

Judy looked up startled. She hadn't realized how much time had passed while their conversation had continued, "Right. Reassembling my stuff now."

She started pulling out various parts of her rifle and put them together with well-practiced paws. Once she was finished, she ran it through a pre-firing check. After she was sure the rifle was functional, she shuffled through her bag and pulled out a magazine of hollow-tipped cartridges and smacked it into the magazine-well before racking the bolt, "Ready to move when you are Nuts."

"Ready check," Honey demanded, obviously getting too into the entire thing as Bellwether announced that there would be a video played to show a compilation of what their "research" had uncovered.

"Claws, ready to get this over with," Clawhauser whimpered.

"Red, standing by," replied Nick as Honey started the original video.

"Fluff, I second Claws' motion," Judy grinned darkly as adrenaline started to build in her veins.

After several moments of deep muttering, Finnick responded, "Stumpy, ready to kick your tails for my call-sign when you get back."

"Nuts acknowledges, and is ready, let's do this mammals," the badger crowed as the original video cut to black along with all of the lights in the room.

Suddenly a deep robotic voice boomed over the speakers, "It's time for the truth."

The short sentence that had been the basis for their now well-distributed flyers and other informational pamphlets flashed up on the screen. The bright words were the only visible light in the entire space before the words disappeared, leaving everyone that had looked with an afterimage across their vision.

Then the video truly started. Recordings of lab tests and cages of muzzled mammals that thrashed violently were followed by decades-old footage of Night Howler Serum tests.

" _Lord Bellwether, are you sure we should continue?"_ a nervous looking raccoon asked.

" _Just shut up and do your job Doctor, unless you want to become the next test subject,"_ the ram's voice boomed across the room, and Judy could hear mammals gasping in shock. She grinned, a cruel giddiness filling her, as the feed was broadcasted across the Zootopian State, simultaneously crushing thousands of mammals' beliefs.

It only took moments for Judy to realize what sort of twisted path her mind had immediately taken, and for a moment she almost drowned in self-hatred.

For a moment, she had been so caught up in the feeling of revenge that she had nearly forgotten that they were also spreading hope for predators. After decades, they no longer had to fear losing control of themselves and going savage when they got emotional.

Judy bit down harshly on her lower lip and refocused on the video as it flashed through years and years of tests, kidnappings, blackmailing, and mammals being silenced for their knowledge. She couldn't afford to be distracted when they were so close to their goal.

"Guys, I can hear them coming, get ready," Honey grit out as she skipped the video forward to the most condemning out of all the clips that Zoya had managed to attain through numerous hackers.

Judy nodded, "Gotcha. Good luck Nuts."

If everything went as planned the badger would be out of the room before the security guards had gotten past her barricade.

A video clip of Governor Bellwether holding a young-adult tiger at gunpoint started playing.

" _You thought that you could stop me? Ha. My family has been doing this since before your parents were even born!"_ the image of the ewe cackled, her shrill voice piercing the air from the speakers. " _This is why I hate you predators. Always think you're better than us prey."_ She sneered, the expression so far from the Governor's usual skittish one that it was almost nightmarish, " _Well you're not. Now no one will believe you."_ With an audible pop, a blue sphere fired out of the modified gun and struck the tiger. The sphere broke on impact and blue goo oozed across the tiger's arm.

A moment of quiet passed in the recording and Judy could hear security trying to break into the control booth as dread painted the tiger's face in the video. The recorded version of Governor Bellwether waved her hoof at him mockingly as she headed to the exit. By the time she closed the door the tiger had begun to convulse.

Mere moments passed in the recording before his pupils slit, and he began to snarl mindlessly. With a lack of anything else in the empty room, he began viciously attacking himself as text crawled across the screen, " _Upon application Night Howler Serum has been proven to cause self-injury when the affected mammal has no other outlet for his or her uncontrolled aggression."_

Judy slowly crawled forward out of the corner she had crammed herself into, and out onto the decorative outcropping that held a plant as well as a camera that she had subtly turned to allow herself a blind-spot. With steady paws she dropped down the bipod legs attached to her size-modified sniper rifle, before she settled herself into position with the well-padded stock in the cradle of her shoulder.

"You know, I'm not the biggest fan of long-guns," Judy commented out of the blue as she shifted her spare magazines out of her pockets and placed them within easy reach beside her. "At my size even if you get a smaller version they still hurt like the dickens when they kick."

Lights suddenly flooded the room - the security forces had turned them back on - and she breathed out slowly as she found her target once the momentary blindness passed. For the briefest of moments she hovered the rifle's sights over Bellwether's hate-filled face, her heartbeat picking up speed slightly, before she shook her head in self-disgust. After a beat, she breathed in again and refocused. That wasn't what they were here for.

She breathed out and her finger pressed firmly against the trigger until a crack rang out and the stock slammed violently against her shoulder. Mechanically Judy racked the bolt, and the spent cartridge landed beside her with a soft clink. She proceeded to fire the other five rounds robotically, placing each shot evenly across the glass. Judy was focused so intently that the pain barely registering as the hollow-tips spread spiderwebs across the thick laminated material. When she finished the magazine, she breathed normally for a few moments as she dropped it free and smoothly reloaded the weapon. Once she was ready she racked the bolt again, aimed toward the top of the protective rectangle, and fired the three metal encased rounds in quick succession, each one piercing the material easily, which caused the already ruined pane to collapse under its own gravity.

As soon as the sheep's torso cleared the falling material Judy fired. Unfortunately the Governor chose that exact moment to duck down as she acted upon the realization that her protection was gone. The bullet missed the sheep by inches, grazing the top of her fluffy hair instead. Judy cursed and refocused rapidly as the sheep started to run off stage. She fired again and saw the ewe's glasses shatter from the side. She had instinctively aimed for Bellwether's head, and rubber bullet or not, the shot would have been deadly.

"Cheddar cheese on apple pie, this ewe has the devil's luck!" she grit out as she tried to get a good sight picture on the diminutive woman as she ducked behind several rams that immediately began to cluster around her protectively. After several moments frustrating moments, Judy resigned herself to plan B and started sliding backward toward her bag. "Red," she spoke, her voice cold.

"I know," Nick's voice drifted to her ears, his tone dead.

As soon as Judy reached her bag she pulled out a gas mask.

* * *

" _-we'd better not risk another frontal assault, that rabbit's dynamite."_ ―King Arthur, _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_

Judy knew the gas bomb itself didn't look like much, but the sheer amount of blue fumes that filled the air easily indicated the threat. "GET OUT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GET AFFECTED!" she bellowed over and over as she shoved her way through the panicked mob as she forced her way toward the stage. The closer she got to the detonation point, the more mammals she saw choking and gasping for air in a sea of treacherous blue. She knew if she didn't get to the stage soon she would be dealing with upwards of a hundred feral mammals. The gaseous form of the serum was slower acting, but that only saved her a minute or two at most.

Judy studiously ignored the faces of the mammals she passed, not wanting to be able to put faces to all of the lives that their plan was ruining. As she reached the stage, Nick drifted out of the fog in his own gas mask. He nodded to her and held out his paw without speaking. Judy looked at him searchingly through her mask, but without being able to see his expression, all she could go by was his stance.

His paws were shaking, but adrenaline was making hers shake too. The rest of him appeared to be standing firm. With more than a little hesitation Judy drew her secondary handgun, and turned it in order to hand it to him grip first along with two of her spare magazines. "These are real hollow-tips, Red!" she yelled so he could hear her over the noise in the room. "If you need to shoot, _DO_ _NOT_ _HESITATE_!"

_Seagulls shrieked as a gun fired, followed by two more shots. The noise echoed around an abandoned dock at the wharves._

" _Good guys, you're doing much better," Judy nodded in approval as the two foxes of different species, and the honey badger turned toward her with their weapons holstered. "I think we'll be able to start on moving targets soon."_

" _Oh yeah!" Honey cheered and pumped her fist in the air._

_Finnick looked sideways at the enthusiastic woman, as she hummed happily to herself, his expression clearly indicating what he thought about how she was acting._

_Nick just nodded, his expression subdued._

His paw twitched back slightly when he realized the nature of the ammunition, but then he reached forward again, despite the information, and took the weapon from her with a nod. If he said anything Judy couldn't hear it over the increasing pandemonium.

Judy drew her primary handgun and they both made their way on to the stage carefully with Nick covering Judy's back. When she reached the top of the stairs she saw several rams and other mammals laying on the floor writhing. They had about thirty seconds at best before the two of them were dealing with way more than they could handle. She quickly scanned the stage for Bellwether, but instead of seeing the small woman squirming on the floor with the others like the sadistic part of her wanted, she saw the trap door hanging open. It had obviously been broken in the process of the Governor's escape.

Judy gestured toward the gaping hole, and Nick nodded. They moved toward it as one, and Judy looked at the long drop before she holstered her gun and hopped into the gap. She landed smoothly with a light thump. As soon as she had settled her stance, she quickly drew her gun and flicked on the flashlight mounted on it with the tip of her finger, before she scanned her surroundings. When she was reasonably sure the space was clear, she flashed the light off and back on. In moments Nick dropped down lithely beside her and redrew his own gun.

They jogged along the passage, and took off their gas masks as soon as Judy deemed it safe. When the hallway started to brighten Judy flipped off her light and let Nick take lead, his predator's night vision safer than alerting their enemies with Judy's flashlight.

After they had turned a couple more corners, Judy darted forward abruptly and used her arm to bar Nick from continuing. "I hear something," she hissed, her voice barely audible. His ears flicked back and forth for a moment before he nodded.

"What are we going to do?" he asked, his voice wavering slightly in uncertainty, the question echoing with a silent plea that was asking for more than just a plan of attack.

Judy met his haunted eyes grimly, "Just don't think about it, Red. Everything we've done is in the past; you can worry about it later. Right now you need to focus on surviving and ending this."

Nick looked away, unable to meet her eyes for a moment, before he breathed in and seemed to pull himself together. He looked back at her and met her eyes with a nod, "Yeah, let's get this done."

He seemed to debate something for a moment before he leaned forward to pull her to him, and hugged her tightly, "Be careful."

Judy stood stiffly in his embrace and swallowed harshly, suddenly feeling like she was going to shatter for the second time in her life. Before she could react he pulled back and smiled slightly, a momentary spark in his eyes, "No need to act so thrilled Fluff."

With no rhyme or reason she almost burst into tears right there. She was quite possibly about to lead him into becoming a killer, yet he still he accepted her.

"I don't think I'll ever understand you, Red," she finally said as she also pulled herself back together.

He grinned widely for a brief moment, before the situation came crashing back down on them both in the form of Bellwether shrieking angrily in the near-distance.

Nick's expression flatlined, "Seriously though, how do you want to do this?"

"I'll take lead. You just shoot at anyone that tries to sneak in a shot at my blind-spots," Judy shrugged. "Simple enough."

He nodded in understanding, and the continued around the final few corners to a well lit room that had two rams standing guard outside of the door.

Judy quietly holstered her gun and drew out two knives. She tapped her chest and gestured toward the two then gestured to Nick and pointed at the spot he was standing in. He nodded and crouched down behind her.

With two deep breaths to steady herself, Judy sprung forward at an angle. As soon as she landed she rocketed forward again, toward the first ram, as she angled her knives for the most damage. Within moments she was speeding toward the other ram with deadly intent. As the two dropped to the floor with a dull thud, she situated herself to the side of the door so that she could deal with the rams that came to check out the sound.

Three rams later she rushed into the room. As she zigzagged across the space to make herself a more difficult target, she took in the sheer number of rams that stood between her and her target. Mentally she cursed as she continued forward, outright refusing to acknowledge or even think about the impossibility of her task. Within moments of her entering the room, blue spheres began to fly through the air, only to shatter without connecting with their erratically moving target.

Then she was within the mass of bodies and fleece, and she went on autopilot.

She ducked, dodged, and slashed with the grace of a trained dancer going through choreography.

" _You are nimble little bunny, this style of fighting suits you well," a middle aged lynx said with a nod. "The weasel child that taught you when you were younger knew what she was doing."_

_Judy bowed respectfully, "Thank you sir."_

" _It will need to be improved upon if you wish to do well in your new profession, of course, but that is to be expected," the small predator added with a cheshire grin._

One of her knives hit bone and didn't come free when she pulled back. Judy released the handle and smoothly drew her back-up knife before continuing. In that short interim, the crack of a real gun split the air and a ram that Judy wouldn't have been able to react to in time slumped to the ground, red dying his fleece near the centre of his chest.

Shocked violet eyes darted toward the door and met familiar green ones that contained a mixture of disbelief, self-loathing, and determination.

Judy saw him nod shakily, as he ducked back behind the door-frame, safe for the moment from return fire.

"GET THAT FOX!" the shrill voice of Bellwether sliced through the herd, and Judy's heart skipped a beat before speeding up.

Judy barely heard the beep of her collar as it flashed yellow. Whereas before she was a dancer, she was now a whirlwind of determined desperation.

She had to keep them away from Nick.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Confession time: I was completely unable to convince myself to not put in the Star Wars reference. I have zero self-restraint sometimes, I swear.
> 
> That aside, we're near the end folks! I would apologize for the cliff-hanger, but… I'm not really sorry. (Insert slightly crazed laughter here?)
> 
> Anyway, you can all look forward to the last two parts, which will be combined into one (final) post. I just have to edit the thing, and then decide when I've made you all wait long enough (or as my father jokingly says, left you all "in suspenders"). This isn't something I'd normally joke about, given my rather poor updating history, but really, this is the first time I've had something written completely (sans editing) before I began posting it. I think I can safely joke about it (this time anyway).
> 
> Love you all, and I hope I'm living up to expectations, or at least pleasantly surprising people occasionally.
> 
> Random Info:
> 
> \- The bullet is actually just the part of gun ammunition that comes free from the casing and is fired forward. The rest of the casing houses the gunpowder which makes said bullet go (and make a loud noise).
> 
> \- Full metal jacket ammunition is, as implied, a metal encased bullet, and will keep going for a good bit even after hitting something. It's all about piercing power. This is NOT the kind of ammunition you want to use if there's a possibility of hitting civilians, because it will keep going. However, it has a smaller radius of damage. This kind of ammunition is generally used in firing ranges for practice. I also assume it's used by the military, but I may be wrong.
> 
> \- Hollow-tip/hollow-point ammunition is designed to hit the target and stay there. Visually, this type of ammo has a circular depression or "hollow" (thus the name) at the tip/front of the bullet. When this type of ammunition hits the target, it mushrooms outward, causing a wider damage radius, but preventing it from travelling very far past the point of impact, preventing further collateral damage. This is the kind of ammunition that law enforcement carries on duty, and should be the kind of ammunition that civilians carry. Some people aren't the brightest though.
> 
> \- Rubber tipped ammunition is basically some pretty solid rubber (which replaces the bullet part of ammunition) hitting its target at high speed. This stuff will bruise heavily, and can also cause internal damage depending on where it hits. This comes from the inertia of the impact radiating outward in a shock-wave of sorts. This is considered a 'less-lethal' form of ammunition. Depending on where you are, law enforcement may or may not use of this type of ammunition to deal with rioting, etc. It's actually a rather controversial type of ammo.
> 
> I suggest looking these up for more information if you don't know much about them, because I'm hardly an expert. For all I know, I may be confused about some of this myself.


	10. Part X/XI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: We've made it guys! It's been a long journey full of highs, lows, and misused commas (I don't think I'll ever get them right). As a surprise, this post contains the official ending, and a bonus (the original) ending! I couldn't find it in myself to let go of the one I wrote first, so it's here for you to read if you wish.
> 
> I doubt I will be venturing back into the realm of Zootopia after this, but keep an eye out for updates on my Star Wars story! If you haven't taken a look at it yet, feel free to swing by and give it a whirl (shameless self-advertisement, I know)!
> 
> I love you all, and every single one of you is amazing! ( ＾3＾)♥
> 
> Without further ado, the final post!

**Part X**

_**Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Disney.** _

 =-.-=

" _Gillman smiles, in the cold manner of an assassin. It's like looking in the mirror."_

― Irvine Welsh _, Filth_

Judy fought like a rabbit possessed, but she was still one against many. While she had been doing well enough when they were focused on her, due to the chaos, she wasn't able to split her focus between protecting herself and Nick successfully.

She heard the distinct sound of the gun she had given him firing rapidly amidst the sound of the pressurized serum guns, and realized that a cluster of rams had broken away from the rest to start firing at the fox. She cursed and dropped her knife in order to grab her own gun. Before she even had a chance to draw it fully she heard a high-pitched whimper, that could have only come from Nick. At the noise, her paw spasmed mid-draw, and she was tackled from behind because of her distraction. Her gun was ripped from her grasp and tossed away, with her knife following it soon after.

A ram's heavy weight settled on her, keeping her face down, and nearly smothering her against the ground as his fleece pressed down around her.

Judy tensed up and attempted to buck her body, but the size difference made the effort pointless. She grit her teeth in frustration, then went deliberately limp hoping that the ram would assume she had passed out.

A few moments passed before she was dragged out from under the ram, and held up by both arms. Another ram pulled her other weapons away from her and tossed them to the side.

She glanced around, making a show of appearing to be bleary-eyed from oxygen deprivation, and she saw Nick being held in front of her in a similar situation. Her heart sank, but she worked to keep herself together. She would have to remain level-headed if they were going to get out of the situation.

"J. Hopps!" a girlish voice squeaked irregularly, the sound putting Judy's teeth on edge. "We meet at last! I've waited for far too long dear."

"Dawn Bellwether," Judy spat out the name like it was poison.

"Aww sweetie, you shouldn't act like that. You'll make me think you don't like me," the sheep chirped cheerily.

"I don't suppose you could jump off a cliff?" Judy asked, mimicking the woman's tone.

"Oh tut tut, you shouldn't let a little difference in circumstance make you so angry you know," the sheep beamed for a moment before her face twisted into a knowing smirk. "We're so very alike after all. Two herbivores that everyone underestimates. They think we're sweet and adorable. Cute even." She shook her head, "You know better though, don't you. Predators aren't better than us just because they're born with more obvious weapons. Born predators are nothing without them!" she spat. "Mammals like us though? We're subtle, and we overcome the odds." She spread her arms wide as if she was a performer, "We could _rule_ this world."

Judy heard a low moan and looked back toward Nick, ignoring the ewe's words as she saw her friend spasm in pain. Her eyes darted across him frantically looking for an injury that she had missed, but what she found nearly tore a wail out of her.

Blue viscous liquid was barely visible on his arm. A grazing shot, but still enough. He had probably only made it as long as he had because of the dose and the distance from his heart.

Judy snarled viciously, cutting off whatever tirade Bellwether had been going on. She bucked harshly against her captor's arms as if she were the one that had been hit with the serum, and not Nick. Her collar beeped in response.

The ewe giggled in a sickeningly girlish manner, "Oh, careful Judy. You don't want to hurt yourself!"

Nick also bucked in his captor's arms, but for reasons out of his control. This couldn't be happening. Not to Nick. She cursed herself for ever letting herself get involved with him. She _knew_ she was bad for other mammals.

No. Focus. Judy grit her teeth as she tried to calm herself down enough to think rationally. Honey could help him. They hadn't had any luck with an antidote, but surely they could find something.

Suddenly the ewe was standing in front of her cutting off her view of Nick and waving what looked like a remote around, "Yoo hoo, I'm over here. You shouldn't ignore your hostess you know. It's quite rude."

Judy resisted the urge to crane her neck to try and see Nick, knowing that was what the other woman wanted, and tensed her jaw instead. "What do you want?" she spat harshly.

Bellwether's face split into a wicked grin, "Ah, I knew you were smarter than you acted in public. You would have to be to do what you do."

Judy's expression went flat, "What I do."

Bellwether wiggled in excitement, "Like you don't know what I'm talking about!" She gestured widely then pointed at Judy, "I'm so jealous of you! _You_ get to go around doing whatever you want to whoever you want directly, while I'm stuck delegating from the shadows," she scoffed. "Oh, if I had your kind of freedom-"

A deep snarl twisted across the room, cutting Judy to the bone as she studiously focused on the ewe. If she didn't, her concentration would break and she wouldn't be able to get them out of this. She glared darkly at the other woman, "You know _nothing_ about me."

Bellwether's laugh broke midway, pitching it up, "Nothing? Oh sweetie, I know _all_ about you. I practically made you!"

Judy's brow wrinkled uncertainly, her focus on the woman suddenly much easier, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, who do you think rigged your trial girl? Who could have _possibly_ been whispering in the right ears all those years ago to get the collar laws passed in your little backwater town?" The ewe's crooked smile painted itself across Judy's vision, "Who left you in isolated administrative segregation at the juvenile detention centre? All. That. Time?" A perversion of a childish giggle slipped from her, "I held up the production on herbivore collars for _months_ just to let you stew in your own juices. I couldn't have sweet, _innocent,_ Judy Hopps leave the prison system. I went to too much trouble to ruin her image… isn't that right, J?"

Everything clicked together and Judy snarled and lunged, "You! It's always been you!"

Bellwether cackled, the sound completely unhinged, as the whimpers and snarls increased from the other side of the room, "Of course it was!" She paused and tilted her head, "Only, I don't really see why you're so mad at me," she pouted, "I freed you! This is who you were always meant to be, no matter what those other weaklings may think!" She breathed in deeply, to calm herself and smiled, "Here, let me help you. We are friends after all." She pressed a button on the remote that Judy had nearly forgotten about, and a barely audible whine issued from Judy's collar as it deactivated. "This is a little something I had the science division make for me," she wiggled the remote, "It's a deactivation field for those collars. They'll turn back on if you leave the field of course, but if you stay with me, you won't have to worry about that! I can _help_ you J! We could work together to take everything back. _Sure_ , the public may know the truth now, but we hold the _real_ power. That bomb you had made was ingenious! If we could just use that, then _no one_ would fight us!"

Judy felt the rams behind her shift uncomfortably, and the analytical part of her realized that Nick was coming to the end of the infection process. Soon, nothing made of flesh and blood would be able to hold him, and the mad woman had completely forgotten, too high on her own power.

Judy grinned, her large teeth glinting in the lighting, "Maybe you're right. Maybe this is who I'm meant to be." Her heart thudded wildly in her chest, and for the first time in years it wasn't accompanied by an ominous beep, "Maybe I became like this so I can _stop_ you."

Nick burst free from his captors in a completely uncontrolled rush, and in moments Judy had freed herself as well, to add herself to the growing chaos. Her eyes darted around the room for her weapons, but they were all too far away. She cursed, then her eyes zeroed in on the almost glowing blue sludge that dotted the floor. She looked up at Nick, who was living up to his surname as he wildly attacked the rams with a viciousness he had never been capable of, then closed her eyes and steeled herself.

Without any more hesitation she swiped her paw through the nearest blue splattered smear, and then dove into the fray, ducking, dodging, and sliding between the various bodies until she reached her goal. Judy smiled grimly, her eyes hollowed out by determination, as she shoved her blue-tainted paw into Bellwether's mouth. "Payback, you mother hubbard," she spat as the ewe's eyes widened in horror.

She yanked her paw free, and with a sigh she collapsed back on the floor before she began to laugh hysterically. Nick was done. Bellwether was done. _She_ was done. They were all done. She laughed, and sobbed as Bellwether began to convulse. Then she wiped the remainder of the Night Howler serum across her face.

_No sense drawing it out._

She laughed. She cried. She wheezed. And then the convulsions started.

She joined them.

_Instincts overriding reason._

* * *

" _We always see our worst selves. Our most vulnerable selves. We need someone else to get close enough to tell us we're wrong. Someone we trust."_

― David Levithan _, Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List_

Despite not really expecting it, Judy woke up.

She stared at the ceiling blearily, trying to decide if it was afterlife white, or hospital white. Her eyes flicked to the side and she saw a heart monitor. She stared at it blankly, and after a moment the beeping sound filtered in, along with the rustle of sheets at the end of the bed.

_Hospital then._

"J? Judy?! Oh, cripes, I gotta let the nurses know!" a startled voice exclaimed.

After a moment of processing she connected the voice with the retreating form of a rotund cheetah. "Claw-" her voice broke, and she coughed weakly.

He returned in moments, with his usual speed that defied his physical frame, "Oh sugar biscuits," he cursed. "Here let me get you some water." He poured some from a pitcher into a too-large cup and poked a small straw into it carefully before holding it out to her.

She sipped at it feebly and then huffed in frustration, "So… weak."

"Mmmm," he hummed to himself, "Well that's not really surprising. You got hit on the head pretty hard down there. Think they said you got stepped on too."

Judy grimaced, unable to remember anything that might have injured her head, then her heart sped up in realization, "I was… infected."

He grit his teeth, "I reaaaaaally should get the nurse I think." He placed the cup back on the table, "Hold on, I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail." He hesitated a moment, "Ooh, bad turn of phrase. Um, yeah. Just, uh, gimme a minute."

He darted off and Judy snorted, "Can't move... anyway."

She sank further back into the mountain of pillows that were supporting her, trying not to let memories swamp her. She _had_ been infected. Hadn't she?

She stiffened. Did this mean there was a cure?

Clawhauser scrambled back in leading an antelope wearing nurse's scrubs, "She woke up a couple minutes ago. I gave her some water, I hope that's okay-" he trailed off and fidgeted.

Judy cut in, her voice still scratchy, but gaining strength, "There's a cure… isn't there? Where's Nick? Is he okay?"

"The fox lad is just fine dear, he's been visiting you while you've been recovering," the middle-aged woman replied. "In fact, you've had quite a few visitors. Mister Clawhauser just happened to be the one today."

"Wait…" Judy swallowed dryly, "How long was I out?"

"A little over a month dear. You were comatose. You took quite the hit to your head, on top of your other injuries. I can have the doctor come in and explain later, I just need to take some vitals and see how you're doing," the antelope shifted and began to check Judy.

"A _month_?!" Judy exclaimed raggedly. "What did I miss?!"

"Well, Honey and some others figured out an antidote, and the collaring laws have been repealed among other things," Clawhauser grinned and showed off his collarless neck.

Judy reached up and felt her own neck, then sighed in relief, "Thank goodness."

The cheetah sobered slightly, "Unfortunately, with it being a neurotoxin, the cure can only prevent further deterioration." He seemed to collapse on himself, "All the mammals with long-term infection have permanent damage."

Judy felt like the ground had given out under her. Of course everything had been too perfect. She knew better than to expect things to work out like she wanted. That had never been her life.

Her eyes burned, and she bit her lip until she was sure they would remain dry, "Is there anything that can be done for them?"

Clawhauser slumped into the chair beside the bed, "There's a bill waiting to be passed to open caregiving facilities for the ones that deteriorated too far to be helped. Now that the neurotoxin has been neutralized they're not violent at least…" He sighed gloomily, "But they're not really intelligent either. It's like they've devolved."

Judy heaved in a deep breath and settled her emotions like she had done so many times in the past, "Anything is better than before. At least they can be treated fairly now."

Clawhauser nodded, "Yeah."

They sat lost in thought as the nurse finished her check-up and left the room before Clawhauser spoke again, "The others will be thrilled that you're up. Even Finnick has been visiting, and you know how he is about being sentimental."

Judy's lips quirked into a smile on their own, "He's a tough one alright. Nick though," she gulped dryly and Clawhauser offered her the cup of water again, which she drank from gratefully. "Is Nick really alright?"

"Nick was cured and out of here two weeks ago, he's just been waiting on you," Clawhauser smiled, and then his gaze shifted to something darker. "He's different though, I think. I don't know if it's the neurotoxin, or what happened that day, but he doesn't talk as much. I really hope you can help him Judy, if anyone can understand what happened in that building, it's you."

Judy bit the inside of her lip harshly as a wave of despair threatened to swallow her, then whispered, "Yeah. Maybe."

_She was pestilence. Everything good she ever touched was ruined._

They didn't talk about much else, before it was time for visitation hours to end. They were both lost in their own thoughts.

=-.-=

Judy had fallen back into the habit of napping to pass the time - something she hadn't done since her years in prison. There just wasn't anything better to do, and if she were honest with herself, she felt tired all the time now.

The doctor told her it was a normal part of the recovery process, and Judy hoped that was the case, because the only times she truly felt awake was when she had visitors.

Thankfully, ever since the day after she first regained consciousness, she had had friends visiting regularly.

_There was a knock on the door, waking Judy up, but before she was even cognisant enough to answer, a stampede of varying coloured fur barrelled into the room and surrounded her bed. She blinked sleepily as consciousness snagged at her mind, and dragged her to full awareness._

" _Did they really let you all in at once?" she asked wryly._

" _Being an honorary member of the staff has its perks," Honey grinned._

" _I had a hard time convincing everyone to wait for today's visitation hours," Clawhauser winced and ruffled the fur on the back of his neck. "They were ticked when they realized I hadn't told them you were awake immediately."_

" _You left us hanging, you oversized cat," Fennick growled. "You should have at least let us know."_

_Judy smiled cheekily, despite her clinging lethargy, "Well what do you know, the little guy_ does _care."_

_This immediately set off a round of irritable muttering from the small fox that made Judy laugh and cringe simultaneously, as her still healing ribs protested the action. "Owwww," she moaned._

_A large white paw came down and carefully patted her on the head, "Do not stress yourself J, we just got you back."_

_Judy smiled crookedly at the largest predator in the room, "Glad to be back, Zoya. How has everything been?"_

_The bear smirked, "My Uncle has been doing quite well for himself in the fall-out, you'll be pleased to know. He's even looking at opening a chain of restaurants in Tundra Town, now that predators are able to move freely."_

_Judy raised her eyebrows, wondering if the mafioso was considering turning fully legitimate with the changes in the laws, or if this was just a front to help protect his assets. "Oh? Sounds like an interesting venture, I hope it turns out well for him," she commented, knowing better than to speak her thoughts aloud. She could always ask later, though some part wondered if she even wanted to. She had other options now. She glanced around the group and her eyes landed on a silent Nick that stood at the back of the group, near the door, his green eyes hollow. They all had options, but first, she needed to get a feel for Nick's mental state._

" _Hey Nick," she whispered quietly in a lull in the conversation._

_His ears twitched and some of the life came back into his bright green eyes. "Hey, Judy," he replied, equally quiet. "How do you feel?"_

_She shifted around awkwardly and sighed, "Definitely been better, how are you?"_

_His lips twitched into a crooked smirk, "About the same really."_

_Judy felt, more than saw the others gauge the situation and decide to take their leave. After a few minutes of goodbyes, and promises to be back, she and the fox were alone._

_Judy shifted again, trying to find a more comfortable position before she gave up and sighed. "So what happened to Bellwether?" she asked, not bothering to be anything other than straightforward. She wouldn't treat him like he was weak. Judy hated it when people did that to her._

_Nick startled slightly and seemed to refocus on her as if his thoughts had been miles away, "Oh, she's dead." He swallowed harshly as if the bluntness of his own words had surprised him._

" _Oh," Judy nodded, not leaving him time to feel anything, "That's good."_

_He blinked at her response, obviously surprised, "Good?"_

" _Well, yeah," she nodded with a deliberate calm. "If she wasn't dead she could have gotten away, or found her way out of prison time. She had way too many connections. Really, it's for the best. This way we can move on."_

_Nick stared at her openly as she continued to talk._

" _I was thinking about what I wanted to do now. You know, now that everything has changed. I definitely don't want to go into law enforcement anymore like when I was a kid, but I'm sure-"_

_Nick cut in, his voice rough, "Judy, I killed her."_

_Judy glanced at him, taking in his haggard appearance, and pained eyes, then shrugged as calmly as she could, "You weren't YOU_ , _Nick. You would barely even contemplate killing anyone right up until the end. You're a good guy. Anything you did under the influence of that serum might as well have been someone else."_

_Nick ground his teeth together loudly enough for Judy to hear, "They told me I tore her up with my teeth, Judy," he spat. "I wake up tasting her blood! How am I supposed to live with that?!"_

_She breathed in deeply and tried to relax, even as memories of blood tainting her own mouth crawled through her mind, "Nick, if you're looking for condemnation from me, you're not going to find it. You already know what I did to be put in prison in the first place. You even know some of what I've done_ since _then!" Bitterness rose in her uncontrollably, "I don't even understand how you can stand to be around ME!"She shook her head in frustration, "I_ warned _you what could happen if we went through with trying to overthrow Bellwether. Did your morals_ break _Nick? Does it hurt not to be innocent anymore? To be as monstrous as me?" Judy panted and closed her eyes, her jaw tensed as she fought down a growl. This was Nick. He didn't deserve this._

_She opened her eyes and saw his stricken expression. Immediately guilt swamped her, "Oh hells Nick, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." She felt her eyes water, "I'm so sorry. Please, Nick, please-"_

_He spoke, his voice gravelly, "No, you're right. I knew what I was getting into." He closed his eyes and heaved in a breath, then opened them, "Neither of us are monsters Judy. We did what we had to, and even if I wasn't savage I may have had to-" he hesitated, then plowed on, "- to kill Bellwether. So I'm going to try not to regret what happened, and so should you." His jaw firmed, and some of the old spark came back to his eyes, "I won't let you regret what you've had to do to survive."_

_Judy stared at him, her eyes burning with unshed tears, and laughed tiredly, "We're so messed up."_

_He grinned crookedly, "Yeah." He chuckled dryly, "We really are."_

_He sighed and settled down on the bed beside her. After a moment he curled up next to her and they sat in a comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts._

_When it was time for Nick to go he cringed, "Ah, cripes I forgot."_

" _Hmm?" she canted her head curiously._

" _This is such bad timing," he muttered and rubbed his forehead, then sighed. "Your parents had been visiting you some while you were out of it."_

" _My… parents?" Judy gulped dryly._

" _Yeah," he huffed an empty laugh, "And they were planning to visit tomorrow. I doubt that's changed, though I don't know if they know you're awake. We didn't really talk much."_

_For a moment Judy thought she was going to be sick, but she fought her way past it stubbornly, "Thanks for warning me." She smiled, though gauging from Nick's expression it probably looked more like a grimace._

_He nodded, "Yeah, good luck."_

* * *

" _Scars are not injuries, Tanner Sack. A scar is a healing. After injury, a scar is what makes you whole."_ ― China Miéville, _The Scar_

The first time her parents visited Judy pretended to be asleep. Nick offered to stay with her the next time they visited, but she declined. She would have to face them on her own, she knew.

The next time they knocked on the door at their usual time, she nearly did the same thing. Instead she firmed up her jaw and shuffled her emotions to the side as best she could.

Then she was looking at them. Her mother rushed across the room, weeping openly as she fussed over her. Her father remained frozen near the door as if he didn't know what to do. Judy couldn't blame him; she was at a complete loss herself.

Finally she couldn't take it anymore, "Mom, I'm fine," she huffed.

"Oh, whoops," the older rabbit fidgeted and backed away from the bed shifting from foot to foot. "It's just; we've been so worried is all."

Judy felt her gaze harden, and years' worth of twisted, bitter emotions welled within her in moments, "Funny you should say that," she grit out.

Her mother's ears drooped, and her father shuffled forward to stand by his wife. After a moment he spoke, "I don't expect you to forgive us. Your mother, well, you know how her brother bit her when they were younger after he went savage. What you did to that pig really messed with her, and well…" he shrugged helplessly, "I was never very good with predators in the first place." He sighed and ruffled his ears, "We made a terrible mistake Judy, and we wanted to apologize. I know that can never make up for the years that we left you, but we wanted to at least do that."

Bonnie hesitated then spoke up quietly, "I don't know if you'd ever want to come home, but just know that you can if you want to."

Stu shifted back and forth from foot to foot, "And we're willing to help support you financially if you'll accept it. We've been learning about how hard predators had it, trying to get jobs and find housing."

Judy closed her eyes, and breathed in slowly before opening them, forcing herself to remain strong. "You're right. I don't think I can _ever_ forgive you for what you did," her voice broke slightly, and she grimaced. She took another deep breath, then whispered, "But I'll think about the rest."

=-.-=

Judy sighed as she paged through a newspaper in the shared dining area of the house she, Clawhauser, Honey, Finnick, and Nick shared. It had been months, and still there was no sign of everything settling down. Laws were still being argued over, and cases were being reviewed to release inmates, as well as to expunge the records of those that had already been released. Hers had been one of the first, she had found out not long after leaving the hospital.

" _A clear case of self-defense."_

As she sipped from a mug of lukewarm tea and turned the page, her ears picked up the shuffle of paws entering the room. She looked up as they drew to a stop beside her. "Hey sleepy-head," she teased, and green eyes sparkled in response. She turned back to the paper with a private smile. He had managed to sleep through the night for over a week. Maybe that meant his nightmares had finally stopped for good.

The thought filled her with warmth.

"You know foxes are supposed to be nocturnal," Nick said with a yawn that made his jaw crack. "Got any more of that tea?"

She nodded and gestured toward the stove, "Yep, though you may want to make some more, it's probably steeped too long now."

He sniffed at the tea and wrinkled his nose, "I'll say. Did you make this an hour ago?"

She snorted in laughter, "You can tell?"

He grumbled and started making more, the motions well practiced, "So, your parents are visiting here today with Gideon's mother, right?"

Her paws tightened on the paper, wrinkling it, before she determinedly unclenched them, "Yeah."

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked, turning to her with concern in his eyes.

She laid the newspaper down, and fingered the lip of her mug in thought as she glanced at the unobtrusive shelf in the corner of the room that held several pictures of her childhood friend.

_An old photo booth picture from the movie theatre_

_A picture taken by Gideon's mother as the two read a book in the Grey's cramped living room_

_Pictures of small birthdays_

_A picture of the two in a kitchen with flour spread nearly everywhere as they looked at the camera in obvious embarrassment._

_(The play-fight had totally been worth the clean-up.)_

Her gaze finally rested on the newest picture she owned of the blue eyed fox. He stood decked out in his best baking gear, and holding a plush toy version of his bakery's mascot that looked suspiciously like her, with a grin that nearly split his face.

Judy smiled faintly, then looked up to meet concerned green eyes and nodded, "Yeah. Yeah, I think I am."

* * *

" _Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin."_

― Mother Teresa

* * *

.

..

…

….

...

..

.

**BONUS: Original Ending**

**AN:** In some ways I still prefer this version. Not all stories are meant to have happy endings. That said, if you liked the official ending then I would suggest leaving it there.

_**You have been warned.** _

**(Takes place after Part IX)**

" _Dr. Robert Hare, one of the foremost researchers on sociopathy, believes that a sociopath is four times more likely to be at the top of the corporate ladder than in the janitor's closet, due to the close match between the personality traits of sociopaths and the unusual demands of high-powered jobs."_

― M.E. Thomas _, Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight_

Judy fought like a rabbit possessed, but she was still one against many. While she had been doing well enough when they were focused on her, due to the chaos, she wasn't able to split her focus between protecting herself and Nick successfully.

She heard him firing rapidly and realized that a cluster of rams had broken away from the rest to charge at the fox. She cursed and dropped her knife in order to draw her gun. With a smooth movement she shot several of them, but in the process she was tackled from behind due to her distraction. Her gun flew out of her grasp, and she felt her second knife wrenched from her grasp.

A ram's heavy weight settled on her, keeping her face down, and nearly smothering her against the floor with his fleece pressing against the floor around her.

Judy tensed up and attempted to buck her body, but the size difference made the effort pointless. She grit her teeth in frustration then went deliberately limp, hoping that the ram would assume she had passed out.

A few moments passed, and she was dragged out from under the ram and held up by both arms as another ram pulled her other weapons away from her and tossed them to the side.

She looked around, making a show of appearing to be bleary-eyed from oxygen deprivation, and she saw Nick being held in front of her in a similar situation, though if the blood on the side of his head was any indication he wasn't faking the bleariness. Her heart sank.

"You must be Judy Hopps," a harsh voice spoke, the timbre irregular. "Gentlemen, make sure you keep yourself out of range of those teeth. I hear she has a thing for biting." The rams readjusted their hold on Judy as Bellwether stepped forward, "I see you've brought a fox friend for me to play with."

Judy bristled, and her collar beeped again as the light returned to a bright yellow. Judy hadn't even been aware it had reset in the midst of being smothered and searched.

"Oh, tisk tisk dear," the ewe said with a sick smile. "Wouldn't want to shock yourself before things even gets good." Judy grit her teeth as the woman continued, "You certainly do have a thing for foxes don't you? First that one that scratched you, now this one? I'd say you have a bit of a 'thing' going there."

Judy lunged forward with a surprisingly authentic snarl, "Don't you _dare_ bring Gideon into this!"

"Oh," Bellwether cooed, "His name was Gideon? How cute." She grinned as Judy's eye twitched, "I think I've touched a nerve, don't you? Does this fox remind you of your teen lover?"

Judy nearly choked on the amount of rancor she felt toward the sheep at that moment, "Shut up, you don't know anything!"

Bellwether swaggered over to Nick and knocked on his head with her hoof despite his probable concussion, "Are you hearing this fox? You're nothing but a replacement for her dead lover. Bet that feels great huh?"

"Leave him alone!" she bellowed, jerking against the arms that restrained her.

The ewe cackled, the unstable tone giving it a nightmarish quality, then she abruptly sobered and turned back to face Judy, "I hate mammals like you." She waved her hoof back and forth, "And I don't mean so called 'preydators,' I mean you vile excuses for animals that actually _like_ predators and think they're equal to you." She stomped over to Judy and glared, "They only make up a _tenth_ of the population, there's _no way_ they're equal!"

"Everybody's equal you stupid cretin," Judy hissed before she spit in the woman's face.

Judy immediately received a surprisingly heavy slap across her face from Bellwether, "You dare?! Oh you're going to regret that, _rabbit_ ," the sheep bit out, using Judy's species like a curse, before she stormed over toward Nick again. The smile that crawled its way across Bellwether's face as she turned to face Judy from her position beside Nick looked unnatural, "Oh yes, dear. You didn't just spit on me after all. You ruined _decades_ worth of plans, and you have to pay for what you've done."

Judy's eyes jumped to Nick and saw that he was finally aware enough to realize what was going on. As she saw the stark look of understanding light his eyes she bucked violently, but was unable to free herself, "Don't you dare touch him again! If you hurt him so help me-"

"Oh?" Bellwether cut her off, "You'll do what? Flail some more?" She shook her head, and her eyes gleamed, "Good luck with that."

And suddenly the single female sheep in the room was holding the only real gun Judy had seen in the entire herd.

Judy felt like she had been drenched in ice water, and her eyes widened, "NO! PLEASE NO!" The beep of her collar as it turned orange was loud in the sudden quiet after she yelled.

"Please, huh?" Bellwether repeated and tilted her head in mocking contemplation. "How about… no."

Judy's ears rang and Nick collapsed.

* * *

"' _A fight is going on inside me,' said an old man to his son. 'It is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf is evil. He is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other wolf is good. He is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you.'_

_The son thought about it for a minute and then asked, 'Which wolf will win?'_

_The old man replied simply, 'The one you feed.'"_

― Wendy Mass _, Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life_

For the second time in her life Judy shattered, but her rebuilt self was made of sterner stuff than the first time.

_Reinforced like the bullet-proof glass she has broken so easily earlier. Shattered, but held together well enough to take a few more blows._

Instead of the near immediate devastation she was familiar with, it felt more like a slowly cascading failure. Devastating, but contained for the moment.

For several moments all she could do was focus on Nick's blank eyes. His auburn fur. His dead tame-collar.

_(There was nothing left for it to tame.)_

Hatred began to twist through her veins, a tantalizing cool heat that wouldn't allow her to think past the moment. Past lethal intent.

It was an odd sort of calm, this hatred-honed-to-determination.

_Her heart had never felt so steady._

_(So empty.)_

Her training kicked in and she went limp in her captor's arms. She felt the ram's grip slacken the slightest bit with her abrupt shift in weight. They thought she was broken.

_Ha._

Against any of their expectations, she exploded forward, a being of pure kinetic energy.

Judy barely had time to grab her gun off of the floor and fire off a single shot before she was bowled over and back on the ground. She snarled viciously, almost feral without even needing the serum, and within moments she was writhing uncontrollably as electricity danced through her. She distantly felt the weight of the ram roll off of her to avoid being electrocuted himself, before she lost herself to the pain.

When it finally stopped, a hoof cracked into her side, rolling her helplessly as her ears and other appendages flopped limply.

Friction brought her to a stop as she felt something on the floor stab agonizingly into her side. Judy fumbled weakly to find the source of the new pain, then understanding flashed across her frazzled mind. The knife she had dropped earlier in the melee rested squarely between her ribs as liquid pulsed from her side. She gasped for air and choked from the pain the action caused her.

Judy grit her teeth and tried to breathe in more slowly, but her breath hitched, unable to pull in any more air.

Judy slowed her attempts to breath even more as flashes of past breathing exercises with a blue eyed fox flickered across her vision. She shook her head. She needed to focus.

With a pained huff, Judy lifted her head only to see the ewe walking toward her as the sheep cradled her arm against herself.

Judy had missed.

She snarled a curse as Bellwether finished her approach, and the other woman began to laugh wildly, her unstable laughter echoing around the quiet room.

"That sure was close, hmm?" the Governor commented breezily before her expression hardened into something that looked entirely unhinged as she waved her gun at Judy with her good arm. "You really piss me off, you know that Judy Hopps? I _was_ just going to kill you fast, but now I think I want to keep you around for a little bit." Suddenly a shot echoed around the quiet room, and Judy screamed as she curled in convulsively around her newly injured knee. The sudden movement caused the knife to shift further into her, and she coughed harshly, the taste of metal hauntingly familiar in her mouth.

Bellwether cackled wildly, "No more of your fancy hopping, Hopps." She smiled, revealing crooked teeth, "And since I have your full attention, maybe I should tell you a little secret." She leaned in closer in a conspiratorial manner, "Your little fox friend that you loved so much? Not that one," she waved her hand dismissively toward the other side of the room, "The one that nearly ruined my collaring campaign by befriending the one he attacked."

_Blue sparkling eyes. Delicious pastries. A nervous, but friendly smile, and a soft country twang._

_Gideon._

"Ah, I see I have caught your interest," the other woman twittered in twisted cheer. "I'm the one that spread the rumours about his stupid little bakery." She smiled sharply, like a twist of the knife already embedded in Judy's side, "I'm the reason he failed."

For a moment Judy stared unseeing at the female sheep, then her eyes sharpened, "You."

"Yep!" the woman chirped in a mockery of merriment.

Judy growled as her vision began to tunnel in on her tormentor, "It's always been _YOU!_ " She howled wordlessly as she tore the knife out of her side, ignoring the pain and the hot liquid that spilled out of her heavily now that nothing was stopping it, with a single-minded focus. The ewe's eyes widened in surprise as Judy lunged forward, unable to react before Judy slashed her jaggedly across the neck. The woman put her hoof up to the wound and staggered backward in bewilderment as Judy followed her doggedly at a half-crawl.

After a moment Bellwether collapsed with a gurgle, and Judy stabbed at her blindly before she yanked the blade free with the last dregs of her strength.

Judy gasped in a pained breath, "Die."

She brought the knife down one more time weakly and sobbed, finally allowing herself to break down as a chill began to overtake her, "Just die please."

_A set of blue and a set of green eyes stared at her, both haunted in their own way, though neither accusing._

_She would help them. She_ would _. She was just so tired. Surely she could just take a short nap first._

_Violet eyes reflected back at her, empty and foreign. She wondered briefly who they belonged to before they closed and she found herself drifting in darkness._

_Drifting._

* * *

" _Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, 'It might have been.'" ―_ Kurt Vonnegut

The air rippled with heat as Bonnie Hopps made her way down a dirt lane, her rapidly beating heart telegraphing her nerves to no one but herself as her unsteady steps kicked up a cloud of dust behind her. After several minutes she saw a cluster of rounded stones. Through force of will she managed to keep her feet moving forward instead of turning around, and finally she reached her destination. She stood stock still for several moments as the dust settled around her, before she heaved in a deep breath and stepped forward into the wild green grass and knelt down near the most recently added stones with a pained whimper. It had been a year, and she had only just gotten the nerve to return.

She lifted her paw up and gingerly traced the names as her eyes welled up with tears.

Stu Hopps

" _Run Bonnie!"_

_A harsh shove, and she is running while holding her breath. She is knocked back and forth by other mammals that are fleeing in the same manner, then she is at the door. She turns back for a moment only to see a writhing mass of mammals violently attacking each other and anything nearby. She doesn't see Stu._

" _I'm sorry ma'am, but the damage was too extensive."_

Nick Wilde

" _They were really good friends I think. Nick talked about her all the time when he visited me," a tired vixen said with a sad smile. "I think if they had lived they could have been more."_

_Bonnie looked at this woman that knew more about her own daughter than she did, and spoke without thinking, "If you want we can put him on our family plot."_

_The vixen's eyes brightened slightly, "I think he would like that."_

Bonnie's paw stuttered on the final name.

Judy Hopps

" _No Judy. We can't do this. I'm sorry, but you're on your own. I have a family I have to think about, and if you're going to attack people then we can't support you anymore."_

Stu had withdrawn into himself after that for days. He had done it to protect her, Bonnie knew, even if it had broken both of their hearts.

Bonnie rubbed at the old bite-mark on her arm that she had gotten from her brother all those years ago, unease dancing up her spine even now. She had never truly gotten over what had happened, and seeing her daughter being pulled away by law enforcement with her mouth drenched in red had triggered the flashbacks to the worst part of her life. Bonnie didn't know if Judy had seen her there or not, as she had a nervous break-down, and now she would never find out.

As time passed she and Stu had tried to convince themselves they had done the right thing, and eventually they began to believe it. The guilt was still there, but most days it was muted – especially when more and more mammals began to go savage.

Surely they had done the right thing.

_Midnicampum Holicithias. Night Howlers._

They had been so wrong. So completely and utterly wrong, and they had lost their daughter for it.

_Fear is such a treacherous thing._

Bonnie curled in on herself and sobbed brokenly for everything she had lost.

_It wasn't supposed to be this way._

* * *

" _If we shadows have offended,_

_Think but this and all is mended,_

_That you have but slumber'd here_

_While these visions did appear._

_And this weak and idle theme,_

_No more yielding but a dream,_

_Gentles, do not reprehend:_

_If you pardon, we will mend."_

― Puck, _A Midsummer Night's Dream_


End file.
